Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, after coming out of a meeting during which I promised my employees better wages, I was met at the door by my CEO telling me to lay off all the employees I just talked to. FML
Today, I accidentally emailed the entire company everyone's salary, sales history, and the names of four people I intended to fire. FML
Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML
Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML
Today, I fell asleep during my division emergency meeting. As I about to head home that evening, my boss patted me on the back saying, "Wrong move. Good luck". Turned out, it was a meeting to determine who will be kicked out of the company due to recession. My name was written first on the list. FML
Today, my boss threw me out of her office during a conference call for daring to correct her. The client fired the company because she subsequently got all the information on the call wrong, and plainly had no idea what was going on. From all the screaming, this is now all my fault. FML
Today, while trying to get my boss to reconsider laying off much of my department, I accidentally convinced him to lay me off too. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
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Top comments
heyjenn 0
Maybe you need to change some things...like your staff.
hayyj 0
ouch... well if your a founder dont u have ownership and cant b fired?
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Comments (184)
howslife123 0
screw all of their wives and then fire them
NuNew 0
my question is what did u do? tht the whole company wants u gone?
niggaitsbradin 0
can they fire you if your the CEO and founder?
butthole_cheeze 0
checks and balances system. thats why the president cant do whatever he wants. kind of like Andrew Jackson did when he ignored a Supreme Court decision, threatened a state for not paying taxes, marrying a married woman. last one was a joke but it is a true story.
RedPillSucks 33
If it's a private company, the CEO is in control. If it's a public company, the shareholders can get rid of the CEO.
Nadinek98 0
fire their ass boss
worldclass 0
Fire all of them :) You must be a terrible boss though.
valri3 0
Fire their asses first then laugh at them
sourgirl101 29
Q: What's your favorite position? A: CEO Ummmm.... not what I meant when I asked the question.(:
tartleigh 0
If everyone in the company is having a "secret meeting" maybe it's you. What's the percentage difference between what you make and they make ? How much of the profits are going back into the company ? The attempts at shrinking your severance package would indicate they feel you're being overpaid and unfairly compensated for no reason. If they can meet to fire you, it also strongly implies they are shareholders, which means it's just as much their company as it is yours.
mattie15 0
fail! good thing your CEO!
angel55033 12
so can you fire all them instead?