Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, after coming out of a meeting during which I promised my employees better wages, I was met at the door by my CEO telling me to lay off all the employees I just talked to. FML
Today, I accidentally emailed the entire company everyone's salary, sales history, and the names of four people I intended to fire. FML
Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML
Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML
Today, I fell asleep during my division emergency meeting. As I about to head home that evening, my boss patted me on the back saying, "Wrong move. Good luck". Turned out, it was a meeting to determine who will be kicked out of the company due to recession. My name was written first on the list. FML
Today, my boss threw me out of her office during a conference call for daring to correct her. The client fired the company because she subsequently got all the information on the call wrong, and plainly had no idea what was going on. From all the screaming, this is now all my fault. FML
Today, while trying to get my boss to reconsider laying off much of my department, I accidentally convinced him to lay me off too. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
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Top comments
heyjenn 0
Maybe you need to change some things...like your staff.
hayyj 0
ouch... well if your a founder dont u have ownership and cant b fired?
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Comments (184)
aardvarkish 17
Well, if you're the shit, like Steve Jobs, they'll end up hiring you back.
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
the place must be razed
Jimboom 12
Time to start a little offshore retirement fund if you haven't already. ;-)
Ommy84 0
I call fake. if you're the founder in a non-public company, you'd have ownership and this situation would be impossible. if this was a public company and you were dumb enough to get rid of your majority shares, you'd be aware if meetings like this.
munkee_6669 0
I hate how this site seems so much like a dictatorship with its unofficial rules. I mean c'mon unofficial FAQ what a load. Top it off the moderators are basically toddlers with magnifying glasses picking out which ants to burn.
Bee_fml 2
The sun is shining bright today!
Sirin_fml 47
The unofficial FAQ is a user-created guide, and is well... unofficial. Goodbye and please don't come back.
ALERI0N 0
I hear mcdonalds is hiring.
SadinSherman 16
Are you applying?
ScuseMePrincess 2
Well, fire them before they fire you. Simple as that.
magicalrubixdude 0
probably the CEO of BP
climbthoserocks 6
fire the ringleader!
bayonet 0
fire them all. you are the CEO