Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, in an attempt to eat healthier snacks, I took an apple to work. I ate it after lunch. Now my teeth are full of bits of apple and I can't focus on my work because it's distracting. Three hours until I can get home and floss. FML
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML
Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML
Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML
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Top comments
Blobenshnogen 0
Who breaks their teeth on an apple...?
plutosaplanet 0
an apple is a fruit....
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Comments (66)
teiso_fml 0
If one bite of an apple was enough to break one of your teeth, then you were probably due for a dentist appointment, anyway.
shootingstar8D 0
Lmfao good one
mrblonde_fml 0
It says she lives in Alaska. Did anyone consider that the apple could have been frozen? It gets to like -70 degrees in some parts of Alaska so it is quite possible.
rarrigoni 0
clearly you don't take care of your teeth if a piece of fruit broke your tooth. that's just sad.
Kofu 0
Alaskan apples are the enamel's bane. Beware!
oystercultviking 0
Your post frightens and confuses me. How the cufkass does one break teeth on an APPLE? D:}
IDopeboyFresh 0
As a person you fail this cannot be real
VegHead13 0
It says she's from Alsaka. The apple must have been frozen.
lem0n_fml 0
FuckMyLyphe and Veghead13, you BOTH spelt Alaska wrong. Good job.
null_fml 11
Heh, when I suggested that the apple was frozen I wasn't serious. I didn't notice she was from Alaska till everyone else pointed it out.
dalsegno 0
An apple is not a good substitute for a lunch.
kmarthotyo 0
in soviet Russia healthy decisions pick you!