Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, in an attempt to eat healthier snacks, I took an apple to work. I ate it after lunch. Now my teeth are full of bits of apple and I can't focus on my work because it's distracting. Three hours until I can get home and floss. FML
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML
Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML
Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML
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Top comments
Blobenshnogen 0
Who breaks their teeth on an apple...?
plutosaplanet 0
an apple is a fruit....
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Comments (66)
Jakojan 4
oh so YOURE the jerk that took my rock that i painted red because it looked like an apple? how could you? YDI
wolfman860 0
dentists are doctors you dumb ****
globulerouge_fml 0
just an apple is not a lunch either.
angryangry 0
Your apple is made of stone?lol...your life sucks!
Rj93 8
this will teach you that you should've tried eating healthier earlier, before your teeth were weakened by all the crap you ate -_-' YDI!
Madstar744 0
people who eat fatty foods are obviously all fat slobs... I ate three burritos, a packet of doritos, a bacon and egg roll and two slices of chocolate caramel pie and I'm 110 lbs ... I eat like this everyday, come at me bro.
Madstar744 0
and my teeth are working perfectly, thankyou very much.
Fylminesawsome 5
19.....who cares?? Thank you.
Moonheart13 1
OMG this has happened to me before.
Plastic_Stitchez 25
An apple a day keeps the doctor away but the dentist will come running. Normally cause of the sugars in an apple