Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in an attempt to eat healthier snacks, I took an apple to work. I ate it after lunch. Now my teeth are full of bits of apple and I can't focus on my work because it's distracting. Three hours until I can get home and floss. FML
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML
Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML
Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Blobenshnogen 0
Who breaks their teeth on an apple...?
plutosaplanet 0
an apple is a fruit....
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (66)
WaterMouse 0
Looks like you should have made the decision to start brushing YEARS ago
godyourethick 0
YDI for having rubbish dental hygiene.
g00nie 0
I agree with #65. I eat apples all the time and I've never broken a tooth. Either you tried biting into a rock hard apple (which I highly doubt would ever happen) or you have really poor dental hygiene. YDI
Zhombie 0
Teeth don't just break like that....What are you, a crackhead? an old geezer? If not, god damn. Brush your teeth. Get some Colgate Luminous or Crest Pro-Health.
beaniebabe 0
plexico, it's supposed to not be ironic because it's ironic that a song called ironic isn't ironic. alanis is lightyears ahead of us all
FlaminYawn 0
Can't believe no one's called the OP out for inferring that dentists aren't doctors. They ARE doctors, they have to get their doctorate as well...
happychappy 0
its definitely not a healthy decision to only eat an apple for lunch by the way... apples aren't meals, they don't provide enough calories to fill you
Cloudy_fml 0
How could an apple break your teeth!? Were they so weakened from all the soda you've been downing or something? And dentists are doctors...
Chasted 0
Drink more milk?
masquerade08 0
Actually, apples due to their high fructose content are exceptionally bad for your teeth. As is a good amount of fruit juice. Almost as bad as soda in the teeth department. I thought i was doing so good... then the dentist asked if I drink a lot of juice... I had a small bottle of it in my purse. It's healthy for your body, but bad for you're teeth. If you drink some water, or rinse and spit water after your juice, you're good to go. Same goes for apples. Also, cheeseburgers in themselves aren't all that bad. They have a lot of calories, but they aren't empty calories, like most junk food. The fries are the true killers. And the McGriddles. By the way, remember that we live generally on a 2,000 calorie a day diet. Eating under that is not generally healthy. Depending on your size and metabolism.