Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, in an attempt to eat healthier snacks, I took an apple to work. I ate it after lunch. Now my teeth are full of bits of apple and I can't focus on my work because it's distracting. Three hours until I can get home and floss. FML
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML
Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML
Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML
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Top comments
Blobenshnogen 0
Who breaks their teeth on an apple...?
plutosaplanet 0
an apple is a fruit....
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Comments (66)
miianah1 22
Dentists are doctors.
DestinyNiya 33
Whoa, OP. You have really weak teeth. Start drinking milk too!
mchmelev1993 10
Lol serious irony. Apples are actually good for cleaning your teeth but the acid can erode your enamel. True story bro
DookieSithLord 5
Seems like you have weak teeth due to poor diet. And an apple Isn't enough for lunch.
tyra8972 8
You eat a cheese burger everyday?! No wonder you messed up your teeth! They aren't use to eating hard foods anymore.