Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend announced to me that she is pregnant and tried to tell me it was mine. I lost both testicles to an infection as a teenager so, no way it’s mine. Somehow, she never made the mental connection that no balls equals no children and no way to convince me I’m the dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML
Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML
Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML
Today, I shaved my penis and balls. When my girlfriend saw, she said, "You look like my little brother." He's 6 years-old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I learned that the burning sensation I get on my balls isn't from when my girlfriend poured hot sauce on my balls as a prank, it's actually gonorrhea. FML
Today, my right testicle popped out during gym class while we were running laps. The teacher saw it and said, “Put that away! There aren’t any balls involved in this activity!” FML
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Top comments
Zapzip2013 0
in soviet Russia balls have you.
ifinishlast 0
YDI for having a 12 year old gf
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Comments (140)
vooper 0
hahahaha ewww! BALLS
youaresofucked 0
LONE_RANGER? HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA¬!!
womanizer89 0
omg is ur gf like 4? lol fyl
jrgr 6
my dog only has one ball :)
lightuup 0
how old are you little kidies
amerthebomber 0
balls ARE nast!
Clare420 0
ummm even if she thinks balls are gross I'm sure one ball IS grossier
UnluckyDom 0
...your half as gross as other guys, and that is bad?
Nonki 0
WHO gives a **** for ur dog
SarahPicc 3
these two must be 12
YDIBITCHES 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Second
YDIBITCHES 0
**** you
Bl4ck_1c3 2
I don't understand number 3 look at his name
GiddyXD 0
thats what i was thinking
scribz 0
it's YDI BITCHES how hard is that to figure out?
theTAT3R 6
they're saying the both #2  are the same names... the person told them self to eff them self
Herropreez17 0
You sir are a fail.
felixshen 18
pun intended?
insertnameherr 11
I think he was saying **** you to the people who thumbed him down...
psyco5000 0
LOL ur gf is kinda messed up.
iBimmer 0
#37 you suck. STFU.
Zapzip2013 0
in soviet Russia balls have you.
monawoka 0
oh my god when I read this I laughed so hard I woke up my parents and got grounded. it was worth it.
extremekiwi 0
hahaha that's an fml all in its own
babyjaguar96 0
word
FML102938 8
holy friggin crap that's funny as hell
dudeman1212 22
Don't you mean In soviet Russia BALL has you ?
Squirrellord911 0
mlia?
nicktowery 0
pwned.
CL41RE 0
lol she must be young ?
mikuxxhatsune 32
My reaction as well, she sounds like a 12 year old girl.
srgntawesome 0
Ha
ifinishlast 0
YDI for having a 12 year old gf
echolot 0
Took the words right out of my mouth.
maddisonNicole 3
My girlfriends 12, What of it?!
krisnick 17
i just turned 13 and think nothing like that so stfu
NickACD 27
It's not actual dating, and your too young or too stupid to grasp the concept of actual dating.
NickACD 27
Shut up immature ****. They weren't talking to you so why you replied I have no idea.