Weirdo
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
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I want Jesus to come inside my heart
Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
I would tell you to kneel and pray, but I'm afraid you'd get confused while you're down there.
harrypotter955 19
May The Lord be with you
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Comments (92)
etchsanity1 11
What Would Jesus Do .... To you?
TylerDC 24
so good to see people now days wanting to get closer to Jesus Christ
GlitterValentina 12
Jesus was attractive though. It's weird how a lot of Holy people are usually attractive.
Enslaved 38
We don't know his true looks for sure but we live in a world where good is depicted as beautiful and evil is ugly. Just look at the Disney villains . :P
billyz77 24
You knew what Jesus Christ looked like? How do you know? All there is are portraits and drawings from a thousand years after he died. Today, almost everybody uses the famous portrait painted by Leonardo Da Vinci in the 14th century as a starting point for His likeness. That's where the long hair and beard comes from. For all we know, Jesus could have been a short, balding dude.
RedPillSucks 33
Wow. Just wow
poccocurantes 7
Blond hair and blue eyes. Just ask Albrecht Duhrer.
GlitterValentina 12
I don't know much about religion; my parents were both Athiests.
cristy91 33
Jesus probably did have short hair. That beard and long wavy locks, so it's been told, comes from trying to make him appear more God-like (think of Greek Gods)
Tzofi 11
Actually, given the time period and the fact that he was a jew, it's very possible that Jesus had a beard. However, it's very unlikely that he was fair skinned and blue eyed like he's often depicted. :P
GhostChickens 17
I've never actually seen Jesus depicted with blue eyes. All the statues/art in my schools showed him as tanned, with dark brown hair, brown eyes and a beard. The virgin Mary statues and paintings were always REALLY pale though. I remember asking my primary school teacher if they'd forgotten to colour her picture in.
KageKaldaka 6
The reason that many holy people are depicted as attractive is that they are portrayed in the romanticized version in most art. As has been said, Jesus likely had a middle eastern look to him due to the time in which he was born and the area. TL;DR Or, as was said in Avenue Q, "Guys! Guys! Jesus, was Jewish..."
drummerp64 16
Let's not forget that at the same time as many of those paintings that you're referencing were made, you had the Crusades at the same time. As in...the war between the European Christians and the Middle-Eastern Jews. The Christians claimed to be doing it in Christ's name (at least, their leaders did...hard to say how many foot soldiers actually did it for their faith, or just for money, land, etc.). So the painters painted him as European as possible, because it's hard to convince people to fight Jews in the name of a Jew.
mike3775 39
Forgive me father for I have sinned...
vbmg152 19
Jesus was a carpenter, in the first century of course he was buff!
RachelleMonae 7
Oh Damn, that's bad.
Kidkaplan 19
"Its the baby jesus"-Ted
beehardxcore 26
Would that make you a biblethumper or a Jesus humper?
Shadow_Phantom 26
A biblehumper?
beehardxcore 26
Touche.
DanielleinDC 34
This makes me glad I'm agnostic.
Xotoolyxo 16
Heyy, on the bright side you'll be going to church more often (;