Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML
Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML
Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML
Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML
Today, I was trying to rescue a stray dog and used my work ID to lasso him. I scooped him up and was carrying him to my car when something spooked him and he ran off with my work ID. I eventually found him and traded him a granola bar for my work ID, but not before I reported it missing to my boss. FML
Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML
Today, at work, someone found a bat indoors. I offered my help. They shouted, "Let someone with the right expertise do it." I volunteer as a bat carer. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
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Top comments
krushr 3
Maybe he thought it was a bank robber?
w2z1 0
It was wearing a mask!
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Comments (79)
Jewelofagal 2
You know.....you can always politely decline to take on tasks that far outside of your usual job responsibilities using any number of reasons including, "I'm not comfortable trying to capture wild animals. Please call animal control instead".
ImaginaryFoe 1
^ This. YDI for agreeing. He does not own you; you can actually decline.
cstrobes 0
haha that is awesome
dudeitsdanny 10
You deserved it for taking an hour =P scare it away from the bank's premises and say it ran off somewhere. It's not your job, that's what animal control is for. Make the call, then go try to catch it. Raccoons are VERY likely to carry rabies.. You should really stay away from them. One scratch, and you could be ******. Rabies shots are ******* painful from what I hear. He's endangering your safety, you're allowed to say no and explain why. There's people trained for this.. You work a desk job at a bank.
starberries 0
I had rabies shots. They are nothing special. (Used to be very painful in the old days, I've heard.) The only problem is that it's a whole course of shots and you have to go back several times to get the whole course. More of an inconvenience really.
Ibogaine 0
Damn raccoons, always hustling me at the drive through.
Hgielad_720 0
YDI. *an hour
theycallmeMimi 0
I was gonna say that!
Hgielad_720 0
Haha, I guess I beat you to it. :) Oh, and I love your picture :) It reminds me of my kitty.
peachezthelette 22
Awhhh hoe cute fyl tho. Thts not part of ur job.
perdix 31
It's a good thing you're a bank teller. If you were in animal control, you'd be fired for taking an hour to do a three-minute job. What did the raccoon do anyways? Did it steal one of your precious ******* pens?
Domonator 16
Bank teller... Maybe the OP was worried that if someone read about a worker who was asked to chase an animal, they might first imagine that the OP worked for animal control. On the other hand, maybe this an attempt to glue two FMLs together... 1) I chased an animal. FML 2) I am a bank teller. FML
Shorty_Shaza 5
would you not rather chase a raccoon than sit on ur ass in a stuffy grumpy place? Well hey look on the bright side, now you got your weeks exercise out of the way! :D
504tilldeath 0
next step, he takes your red swingline stapler