Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML
Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML
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Top comments
thawny_fml 21
Goodness gracious great balls of fire! But seriously, get a new roommate.
Twigman8 15
At least you can stay warm in the Canadian winter, now! On a more serious note, hopefully you didn't end up badly burned and I hope he apologized to you!
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Comments (62)
ananicosia 28
It would be a good idea to find a new roommate
fuckfuckityfuck 16
Kill them
iamtheobby 7
Well that escalated quickly
supr_sexy 9
seriously......
Oppression_fml 19
That's a low blow unworthy of a roommate. Get rid of it STAT. Monkeys are better behaved.
hellnosucka 27
well at least it wasn't the mustache.
gamermonster 34
More like the pube hair
stangbang92 17
I think you would more issues than just a prank if your roommate undresses you while you sleep.
TweetAnne 13
What happened to the good old bucket of cold water?
darshini_ii 24
That's really hilarious but also very dangerous, I only say this because my friend once lit my hair on fire. I was furious at first but I did find it funny after. Your roommate might not be all that bad though he needs to know what is funny and what is not.
revolvearoundme 15
You know what they say. Give a man a match he'll be warm for the night. Light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. Or was that fish?
supr_sexy 9
u wake him up by splashing ice cold water at his JUNK.
gracehi 33
Break his damn nose. He could have permanently disfigured your face. ******* moron.
ThrottleJockey 36
So you'll disfigure his roommate instead?
Mpii 11
Wow. What a bad room mate! Do you have a lock on your door? If you do, you should lock it from now on. Unfortunately this seems to be the logical way to react.