Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML
Today, I realised it’s been too long since my partner and I have had sex. How do I know? This is the third night in a row he’s humped me in his sleep. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years still can't get it that dry humping me and saying, "But I'm horny" in a goofy voice isn't a turn on. FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, after working a 24-hour shift I was finally able to get some sleep. Not even an hour after falling asleep, I was woken up by my drunk husband humping my leg. FML
Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML
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Top comments
JJ_V3N0M 19
Video tape it gurl!
Earths_Venus 25
Keep your phone on you and tape him doing it. Does it always happen on a Wednesday? Wednesday is hump day, y'know.
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Comments (132)
slyde32 12
I once apparently strangled my ex in her sleep, once, I felt horrible after finding out the next day, I was scared to sleep again after hearing that.
cjwayy 22
My boyfriend says I talk in my sleep, sometimes in mixture of Italian and English.
name_loading 19
The question is, do you normally speak italian?
cjwayy 22
A little bit. Though if I didn't, it would be awesome that I speak it in my sleep.
xxxmeisiejxxx 20
Maybe he tells you he doesn't remember... it might Just be his secret fetisj for which he found an excuse now!
Dynosaur_dollie 38
It's actually not as uncommon as you'd think and fits in the same category as sleep walking, sleep talking etc. Rather unlikely he has a fetish for pretending to sleep while humping his partners leg...
dannnngthatsux 19
You'd be surprised what fetishes people have. I mean, feet. Ugh! Smell. Look funny. Are far too far from the real action...
SwtCherryPie 26
My husband has done that to me before. Although it made it hard to sleep, I found it pretty amusing. I told him when he woke up and he got embarrassed.
xLIGHTS_fml 23
I was sleeping at my friend's house once and she said I yelled at her in German to turn "the damn lights off." Id be pretty amused if my boyfriend did that to me though.
DARKDAY07 16
time to get spiked knee pads
mybubbles2000 13
I am sorry, that's too funny.
worldclassrager 41
Record it...then he'll realize it
Sagan928 7
You need a spray bottle full of ice cold water. Next time he does it, spray him in the face -- he'll wake up.
Altrnate_Reality 14
my bf does this every night before bed. what he denies is the fact that he sometimes barks in his sleep..
dannnngthatsux 19
Um, what breed does he think he is?