dumbassbuffet
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Hot boy summer
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
sharkgirl4
Rialto, United States
Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML
Username
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
I'm a huge fan
Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML
Anonymous
Concord, Canada
Today, I fell off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep onto a running fan. FML
thwack
United States
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
tylerlove361
United States
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Chicketi
Canada
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Boredom
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Caught
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
irony
United States
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Australia
Slicy slicy
Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML
Top comments
every1luvsboners 11
Wrong kind of ********, champ.
Alleged_Cranium 7
You don't quite understand what a ******** is? Do you?
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Comments (434)
johncrb 6
Ummm how and why?
RoseCrystal 17
well that's one way to thin out the gene pool....
ohmandapants 17
Never dance around, swingin' your penis near a fan.
Honestly_Lainey 21
Ok, what kind of weird-ass blades are on your fan? I've touched spinning plastic fan blades.. No cut. Homemade knife-fan for cutting your pubes? Bad idea.
mikeymayhem_87 15
I hope by touch, you mean with a finger! >_>
skizza_fml 3
I cut my finger on plastic blades, hurts a bit so you don't need knife blades to cut yourself
soccerstar255212 8
How is this possible?
perdix 31
Either the OP has a very long, thin penis or they removed the protective grate over the spinning blades. I have to use the latter method, heh-heh-heh;)
mea_iloveskiing 26
Is OP's penis as short as this FML?
monkekka 0
Well, now it is. Haha
jsteury 0
Not so much as how I can kinda figure that out but, why you would want to I can not figure out
MaaaanWTF 1
YDI! Everyone knows you gotta use the Dyson Air Multiplier! Duh!
perdix 31
If you do it just right, you will come harder than any other time in your life. I highly recommend that you keep trying until you perfect your technique. Keep it up! You'll become a fan of the fan;)
FunwithBumperCar 0
Yes but when he comes it will just blow into his face.
perdix 31
Nah, ya got to hit it from behind like you would with an ugly girl. That way, your spooge really flies! Master the method, n00b!
flockz 20
brings new meaning to the phrase: "when shit hits the fan..."
perdix 31
92-Also to the phrase "Blades of Glory." ;)
flockz 20
what goes around comes around? lol
HappyPickles 11
LOL! Although, don't you really mean: "What cums around goes around"?
lolfish1337 4
Ydi for making this hard to click
chelseaaababyyy 17
i know, i sat there for like ten minutes trying to click it before thinking 'wow, im a dumbass' then clicked on the next fml and clicked the up arrow(: