dumbassbuffet
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Hot boy summer
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
sharkgirl4
Rialto, United States
Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML
Username
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
I'm a huge fan
Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML
Anonymous
Concord, Canada
Today, I fell off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep onto a running fan. FML
thwack
United States
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
tylerlove361
United States
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Chicketi
Canada
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Boredom
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Caught
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
irony
United States
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Australia
Slicy slicy
Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML
Top comments
every1luvsboners 11
Wrong kind of ********, champ.
Alleged_Cranium 7
You don't quite understand what a ******** is? Do you?
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Comments (434)
Bikrbum 6
What kind of work do you do in your office and why are you doing it naked!
da808gr8 0
That's not how a vasectomy is supposed to be performed
sakurose 9
Makes me think of something Peter Griffin would do.
macynicoleyo 0
HAHAHA. made my day. i just don't understand why you would let your penis even come close to the desk fan blades? like wtf, is that your fetish or something? "oh yum, fan blades cutting my penis." that's just weird...
SlightlyUnstable 6
I'm trying to imagine how you even got into this situation...Actually, I don't want to know. Hope you get your willy fixed up soon, so you can stupidly stick it somewhere else again!
heathz 9
cool story, bro.
mscott2379 0
Cut the fan before you wank it next time!!
CakeSlicer 0
Ouch! Why would you do that?
jewknowit710 2
Doesnt matter had sex
varkey 7
How the **** did you do that? YDI, moron.