dumbassbuffet
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Hot boy summer
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
sharkgirl4
Rialto, United States
Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML
Username
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
I'm a huge fan
Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML
Anonymous
Concord, Canada
Today, I fell off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep onto a running fan. FML
thwack
United States
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
tylerlove361
United States
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Chicketi
Canada
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Boredom
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Caught
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
irony
United States
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Australia
Slicy slicy
Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML
Top comments
every1luvsboners 11
Wrong kind of ********, champ.
Alleged_Cranium 7
You don't quite understand what a ******** is? Do you?
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Comments (434)
fangz_fml 6
Sue the Fan company for not writing "Do not put your penis near fan in motion" in the safety chart XD Well, now, you are un-penised!!
tj4234 36
and on tonight's episode of Today in Canada...
daydreamer244 13
How'd you manage to do this???
cheybearlovesyou 0
Oh my, sir you are definitely not the brightest lightbulb in the pack. Just saying.
panvicka 16
how? just... how did you... why would you...
newmandotcom 6
There's is no possible way at all that you did NOT deserve this. I foresee a very prestigious Darwin Award in your (probably near) future....
scottm1 0
It was hard for me to open too and I wish it never did. Someone as stupid as you should have it chopped completely off before you can make more stupid.
mommabear0823 12
You kind of just made canadians look like dumbasses
xXxHalfGonexXx 6
Dont wanna know how
lmfb07 0
U shouldn't have ur penis out at work dumbass