Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa, and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I came home to the nanny passed out on the couch from too much alcohol, my 2-year-old alone and locked in the bathroom, and my house in a complete wreck. To top it off, it's the day my mother-in-law, who hates me, is coming to visit from New York. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML
Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML
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Top comments
maliki32 7
I feel so sorry for you, OP. Nobody should ever have to go through any of that!
GothicAngel17 24
Stupid woman, vibrators are expensive! (For those who are retarded, it's a damn joke)
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Comments (109)
likeabamf 1
What an amusing mother you have.
jstfyd 1
You live with your mother. 'Nuff said.
Brilliant66star 17
Good thing she put you out of the house -- you probably don't want to be around for whatever her next drunken antic might be. And they seem to be getting more outlandish in succession!
MollyWobbles225 4
Why does your unemployed mother have a vibrator? o.O
_MidnightLuna_ 17
Probably for the same reason anyone else would have one...to **********. Dumb question much?
rmullen13 4
Sounds like my mother.
rcgirl2 11
She needs to get out more and meet someone.
emmybugz6 0
I hate when you get so depressed you throw your vibrator out the window.... Haha I feel sorry for you OP, I hope it gets better
nickolascronk 3
That bitch is drunk.
Wyatt_Blair 0
Your parents should have you brother checked mentally.
xgetxbentx 13
Intervention perhaps? Not the show, but just have one.