Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa, and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I came home to the nanny passed out on the couch from too much alcohol, my 2-year-old alone and locked in the bathroom, and my house in a complete wreck. To top it off, it's the day my mother-in-law, who hates me, is coming to visit from New York. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML
Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML
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Top comments
maliki32 7
I feel so sorry for you, OP. Nobody should ever have to go through any of that!
GothicAngel17 24
Stupid woman, vibrators are expensive! (For those who are retarded, it's a damn joke)
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Comments (109)
Irishgypsy 2
Did she piss on your cat as well??
parshal 2
Eww u dont deserve a mother like tht
laden_swallow09 35
It's "caught", every time. No such word as "catched".
AgaveLoco 5
Maybe she wants a bigger vibrator
chupachup_fml 0
her little boyfriend doesn't satisfy her enough -.- corrupted world
MexicanGinger 5
BURN!!!!! xD
momo1972 3
She's a keeper!!!! Lol
jim_bolicious 4
Another example of why weed is better than booze
CamberwellCarrot 8
Do you live in the Sunnyvale Trailer Park by any chance?
Nbrandwine 7
One word. Rehab