Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, discovered that all the viruses I have gotten on my computer at work haven't been from anything I've done, but because my boss has secretly been using it after hours to download or watch porn so he wouldn't risk getting a virus on his own computer. I've lost 3 major projects due to this. FML
Today, a coworker and I got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss's infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML
Today, our computer system has irretrievably broken down due to viruses. My boss is the one who refused to get new antivirus software, but he’s still blaming me because I’m the computer guy and should be able to protect us from stupidly complicated viruses, "like the hackers in the movies." FML
Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML
Today, my boss was using my computer and tried to copy and paste a website URL. It must not have copied first, because it pasted a URL to a porn site. I think I should start looking for a new job. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I set up an office laptop remotely from home. My own laptop screen sat next to that laptop screen. I wanted to wank so opened some porn on my own screen. Then my boss called and said, "There's smut playing on this laptop." Wrong screen, and my work PC was in console mode, so people had gathered to watch. FML
Today, I'm in my third week at a new job. Using an online service our company recommends, I accidentally downloaded a virus that is now working its way through our website, randomly sending our customers Viagra ads via our email. I personally had to tell the founder of the company. FML
Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened the browser repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML
Today, I was sick, and decided to work from home. After coding for a few hours, I took a break, and being home alone, I watched porn. A few minutes later, I received messages from my colleagues telling me to shut it down. I had forgotten I was working on teamviewer. FML
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Top comments
StarWolf111 21
Report him?
ninjuh_wingman 29
**** stars. Able to give you viruses both on and off screen.
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Comments (244)
umm_Talk 9
You should put him on the spot with all your other co-workers.
flockz 20
wow what a Jerk. he shouldn't Explode on you guys when he's Pulling a white lie. Beat him to the punch. report him. then everything will be a Happy Ending when the Long arm of justice cums down on his ass.
geon_olam 17
No He Shouldnt but Why do you Write like This is it the Title of your Newest Bestseller?
flockz 20
i know they were all a stretch, but in fact no, i was trying to enlighten everyone with a little pun fun. sorry you didn't notice.
wordbigbird 0
We get the pun. Capitalizing every other word has nothing to do with it
flockz 20
i capitalized every part of the comment that could have been a pun so people could recognize it. but some people still failed to see that (#55). now **** off.
flockz 20
and for people who still don't see it, jerk, explode, pulling, beat, happy ending, long arm, and cums. all relating to jerking off. now go back under your bridge.
IndigoAcrylic 9
LOL! XD
DocBastard 40
Just for the record flockz, I got it, and I thought it was well done. Don't listen to these Wankers.
TheNewGuy03 29
I chuckled. |the kid|
The_Troller 14
Oh... I didn't get it at first but then it came to me.
flockz 20
thanks doc.... these trolls i swear. always taking shots at me. they just need to relax and take a load off.
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
Flockz, will you marry me?
KindaFunnyRight 8
Why do people assume that OP's boss is a man?
IndigoAcrylic 9
I know right!? I swear to god my step mom looks at gay ****. xD
Ghostkiller12345 9
yeah um we didnt need to know that
xMidna 6
What, either parents or women aren't allowed to look at **** now?
kroekdog 7
Wait... **** causes viruses? Shit..
XxPieTheifxX 6
How about you report your boss and kick their ass ^.^
IndigoAcrylic 9
I just hate it when I'm looking at yaoi while talking to my friend on skype and then my skype crashes xD DONT YALL JUST HATE THAT?!
abby1029 8
ahha sorry but you and 41 would make a cute couple :P
abby1029 8
what i ment to say is you and 41 would make a cute couple :)
Schizomaniac 24
PMS. Private Messaging System. Use it.
KiddNYC1O 22
If 41 is a lesbian, yes.
IndigoAcrylic 9
If 41 was a hot sexxy man...Then yes ^_^
flockz 20
^ SHIT JUST GOT REAL!
BonerTooLong 1
I would have your boss there while you report your finding. And be like the problem was generated on your computer boss, let's take a look at what's going on on your computer together shall we?
IndigoAcrylic 9
"Lets take a look on what's going on downstairs together, shall we? (;"
G97Alex 21
It isn't an addiction, it's a necessity.
wordbigbird 0
That's got blackmail written allllllll over it
flockz 20
what's an "alllllll" ? you troll my comment i troll yours.
SirSquishyPants 1
Why does it always have to be Black?
HumanWiki 8
You need better IT then. We don't have issues like " another virus " here. Also, I am corp IT so I speak from years of Global support.