Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, discovered that all the viruses I have gotten on my computer at work haven't been from anything I've done, but because my boss has secretly been using it after hours to download or watch porn so he wouldn't risk getting a virus on his own computer. I've lost 3 major projects due to this. FML
Today, a coworker and I got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss's infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML
Today, our computer system has irretrievably broken down due to viruses. My boss is the one who refused to get new antivirus software, but he’s still blaming me because I’m the computer guy and should be able to protect us from stupidly complicated viruses, "like the hackers in the movies." FML
Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML
Today, my boss was using my computer and tried to copy and paste a website URL. It must not have copied first, because it pasted a URL to a porn site. I think I should start looking for a new job. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I set up an office laptop remotely from home. My own laptop screen sat next to that laptop screen. I wanted to wank so opened some porn on my own screen. Then my boss called and said, "There's smut playing on this laptop." Wrong screen, and my work PC was in console mode, so people had gathered to watch. FML
Today, I'm in my third week at a new job. Using an online service our company recommends, I accidentally downloaded a virus that is now working its way through our website, randomly sending our customers Viagra ads via our email. I personally had to tell the founder of the company. FML
Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened the browser repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML
Today, I was sick, and decided to work from home. After coding for a few hours, I took a break, and being home alone, I watched porn. A few minutes later, I received messages from my colleagues telling me to shut it down. I had forgotten I was working on teamviewer. FML
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Top comments
StarWolf111 21
Report him?
ninjuh_wingman 29
**** stars. Able to give you viruses both on and off screen.
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Comments (244)
potatosrock 10
blackmail him
bubo_fml 11
Did you offer to give your boss a hand with his problem?
skinflint 6
reporting your boss is a career limiting move. the other managers are going to remember that you are a rat and won't want to be around you. if you pull your boss to the side and tell him he'll know you have his back and you can ride his coattails up the corporate ladder.
bryanismad 3
Give the man lotion and he will probably promote you
BigSlingin 0
Is your boss a guy or a girl?
jaredofmo 22
What do hookers and **** sites have in common? They often contain viruses.
N3766 20
Your boss is the virus.... Erase him/her and problem solved
brick_man33 14
that's quite a sticky situation OP
shrdlu 28
The main problem isn't that it's ****, but that the OP's boss is doing non-work-related stuff at work. Would the situation really be that different if the boss, instead of watching ****, had been playing online games at work instead, getting viruses from those?
Arxikist 3
Yes.
bizarre_ftw 22
Inform him. Or, as he sounds like a dick, go over his head and tell his superiors. Get him fired and yourselves a better boss/a promotion