Today, our computer system has irretrievably broken down due to viruses. My boss is the one who refused to get new antivirus software, but he’s still blaming me because I’m the computer guy and should be able to protect us from stupidly complicated viruses, "like the hackers in the movies." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, discovered that all the viruses I have gotten on my computer at work haven't been from anything I've done, but because my boss has secretly been using it after hours to download or watch porn so he wouldn't risk getting a virus on his own computer. I've lost 3 major projects due to this. FML
Today, our boss replaced all our computers with new Apple iMacs, which have fewer USB ports and none of our software or saved files. He insists it’s all “in the Cloud thing somewhere, figure it out and show some damn gratitude.” We are now incapable of doing our jobs but he insists he’s blameless. FML
Today, my mom borrowed my computer without my permission and downloaded a virus. I came home to a blue screen of death. She refuses to admit fault and pay for a new computer. FML
Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for not being able to fix his computer. I’m not in IT, I wasn’t hired to have anything to do with IT, but he assumes that because I’m the youngest woman in the building and look like a nerd that I’m automatically a computer expert. I don’t even own my own computer at home. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, a coworker and I got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss's infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML
Today, my 70-year-old coworker managed to do something to our shared computer for it to not boot up. This is our 4th computer since we've been working together, and he refuses to believe that he's the problem. FML
Today, my dad was sat on my laptop in the living room trying to learn how to do some rewiring around the house when he, and I quote, ”clicked on the thing.” My laptop is now riddled with so many viruses it’s basically a house brick. FML
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You need to find another job. A boss that starves you of resources is going to make you look incompetent and will eventually fire you. Get the jump on him.
LauraLaik 15
Tell him that all hackers use antiviruses and they wouldn’t be able to do what they do (in movies and irl) if they didn’t have the best antiviruses on their computers.
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Comments (5)
LauraLaik 15
Tell him that all hackers use antiviruses and they wouldn’t be able to do what they do (in movies and irl) if they didn’t have the best antiviruses on their computers.
RichardPencil 32
You need to find another job. A boss that starves you of resources is going to make you look incompetent and will eventually fire you. Get the jump on him.
JasonThorn 23
"Yeah, and THOSE movies have budgets in the millions of dollars. Where's MY millions-dollar budget?"
sarianna 10
"I may be the computer guy, but keep in mind that your mechanic can't keep people from stealing your car when you put a disco ball keychain on your keys and hang them from the rearview mirror while the car is unlocked in the middle of NYC either. Stop tempting fate and pay for antivirus."
IHaveThePower 18
You know, a true jury of your peers wouldn't convict you if you bashed this guy over the head with a frying pan. You won't get a true jury of your peers. But if you did.