Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML
Today, after weeks of my yelling, my boyfriend finally listened and got a hobby. Instead of getting into something sensible like martial arts, he chose tabletop gaming. Now I have to listen to hours of boring stories about pretend fantasy worlds, and admit to everyone that my boyfriend is a nerd. FML
Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML
Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's family. He calls his parents things like “geriatric hag” and “old clown”. I was about to yell at him, but they started calling him “nancy boy” and “nerd”. Apparently they love each other, but only communicate through abuse. I can’t believe I may soon marry into this mess. FML
Today, I showed my fiancé the darling Tinkerbell hoodie I'd bought myself during the weekend. Instead of liking it as I'd hoped, he told me my childish wardrobe was embarrassing, and he wasn't going to be seen in public with me until I wore something different. FML
Today, I had to have a serious talk with my boyfriend about his Miley Cyrus obsession. FML
Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML
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Top comments
dtbomb 3
I would say do it at that one river but you've probably never heard of it.
kikimonole 13
Oh dear. Another dumbass moron has been created! By that I mean your boyfriend. Ask SIRI! Seriously she (it?) gives you suggestions on where to hide a body.
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Comments (215)
mbsmbs 2
Ask siri
jjwb96 1
Ask Siri !
sammiskorpio 8
Killed a hipster and threw him in a river...WHOSE MAINSTREAM NOW?
NigerianMedicine 11
Dump the body in the Pacific. Hopefully, it will either be eaten or wash up in the Aleutians.
kool_girl_123 9
Lol
ririzzle 2
Im not sure what a hipster is.. is that what lame people call people with more friends?
shananay2000 7
Am i the only one who actually likes Mötley Crüe? Im wearing their shirt now cause i went to a KISS and Mötley Crüe concert on saturday
StanSmith2013 26
Dump him here in Blighty and we will show him how far reality is from his dream!
nmlutgen 11
Breaking up is another option.
mileenakara91 3
Screw you, Motley Crue rocks. Literally.