Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML
Today, I turned on my A/C for the first time in a couple of months. A family of ginormous cockroaches climbed out of the air vent and a few clumps of dead cockroaches fell to the ground. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML
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Top comments
queenariii 22
Well, did you help him out? At least hold the door open.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I hear that roaches often feed off of other dead roaches. For a feast maybe?
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Comments (44)
FinnThomas 15
And they say chivalry is dead
samlovesham1234 9
Time to nuke the building!
freddygasman 18
Why bother, only the roaches worms be left then.
sgit 5
nope nope NOPE nope
Draveren 11
How do you know that was his friend? Could've been getting rid of a rival's corps. Maybe that's a serial roach killer. Roach police is on it's way right know, OP, so get your story straight, short and to the point.
Bunnyluver 20
No soldier left behind!
WellCrap5189 11
"WE'VE GOT A MAN DOWN, WE NEED IMMEDIATE EXTRACTION!"
great_nate 26
Step on it!
Shay_Shay97 23
A good bug never leaves his friend behind. Also, did anybody else think of Roebuck in WaW when he says, "no one fights alone!"?
buck16 9
You never leave a man behind.
abaker38 1
Where did u work?