Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML
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Top comments
skyle_fml 0
I hate people who spit all over the floor. YDI.
CaptainJellyBean 0
Ah, how inconvenient. I'm sure she was in fact impressed. Imagine how many envelopes you could seal with that amount of saliva!
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Comments (62)
P3R 0
you should have swallowed it. then smile
dan81892 2
wow, smiling makes people impressed? man have i been doing it wrong.
Aristai 0
Serves you right, spitting is disgusting.
falafelmuffin 0
Gee, you're probably a douche in real life. One of those guys who wears the bright pink shirts and wears their cap inside out and to the side, unlike a respectable human being. You're gonna be the one who turns out gay later on in life cuz none of your ingenious methods to picking up chicks worked correctly and you can't figure out why.
paperfox_fml 0
You spit? You're disgusting.
lowcapacityx 0
Ahaha! For the lose! That must've lost you a lot of hottie points.
RandomFool 5
Well, unless you needed to spit out mucous, then you could have swallowed it...
Je_mapelle 0
SWALLOW FOR CHRISTS SAKE.
missethics 0
I don't get why it's a faux pas to try and impress someone. That's how getting a mate works in the animal world, why is it suddenly douchebaggery when humans give it a go?
missus_butter 0
#18, he was PREPARING to spit and then tried to smile, which led to the drooling. He got ready to do something disgusting and then it made him look like an idiot, the very definition of YDI. Why don't you read the original post before telling us off?