Today, it was hot out, so I opted to stay cool and wear my bathing suit all day. My mom took it as me rubbing in the fact that I'm thinner than her and grounded me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML
Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML
Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML
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Top comments
mk58 31
Jealous bitch.
imosim 0
you're mom is really concerned about her weight to think like that lol...
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Comments (222)
muffinman1 0
First!
changetheworld 0
That's a compliment.
imosim 0
you're mom is really concerned about her weight to think like that lol...
Person1233 13
You are mom?
bravesfan112233 0
don't hate me because i'm beautiful
NastyNinja31 0
the op that wears a size 16 must be your mom
dolphincheddar 10
in the case of being electrocuted, which happens to me quite often at my job as a dominatrix.. being grounded is much safer and a lot less painful.
sydie5 12
#19 - I read how mean you were to the other OP, so shut up and stop fricken ruining posts ya douche.
NastyNinja31 0
lmao @ fricken
sydie5 12
you're cool :)
Iamnotmyself 17
Try eating ice cream in front of her, maybe she'll be less offended.
NastyNinja31 0
nahh it's hot :)
mea_iloveskiing 26
#2 is croatian :D
dearbarn 0
hey skinny bitch with no face leave 19 alone
wolflover44 5
I'm not allowed to eat ice cream in public anymore... :( Supposedly I'm too good at it... lol
imosim 0
Yes I am #48 :) damn proud
rein 8
well, you got it from your momma.
enonymous 9
My dad grounded me when i was a kid when I did this. HE DIDN'T LIKE MY 2 PIECE!!! I cried for days. I didn't care however all the special boys were doing it at 10.
sydie5 12
Thanks everyone for hating on me lol
sydie5 12
Well I'm sorry I'm skinny, I said fricken cause I don't swear, and I didn't have to make him look bad, he did that himself a couple FML's ago. I'm just pissed at him from what a jerk he was being to one girl that was size 16.
NastyNinja31 0
lol emo ass gets mad on FML learn to take a joke
sydie5 12
emo? lol
UN1T3D 6
74- Anorexic bitch.
NastyNinja31 0
85.. no one likes u go away
Iamnotmyself 17
Eat ice cream in front of her, maybe she'll be less offended.
FarSide 23
There can only be 1 mother-**** in your family I suppose...
NastyNinja31 0
like a good neighbor state farm is there with... air condition
Imgonnahaveabf 9
I guess it's the time for... TINA THE TALKING TUMMY! Oh, don't forget Cellulite Sally, or back fat betty.
Tjack_atack 0
dude where do you live it was only like 90 today
victimization 0
I'll be right back gonna get you some help sweetie......oprah?!!!! doctor Phil?!!!!!!
fatguy805 0
thank god for California weather haha
PutItIn 8
Who else thinks 1's comment was liked because it was more than an LOL, that sucks, sucks,wow,wow lol, haha, etc etc
thecoolestever1 0
24, you must mean shock, because if you get electrocuted, you're dead.
idontcare8l 3
112 - love that movie (:
Friaza 29
Nobody cares about whether or not your a *****.
iloveeyouuxD 9
I LOVE THAT MOVIE!
mk58 31
Jealous bitch.
sydie5 12
aren't they all?
YayorNay 8
I lol'd after I saw 26's comment and her info.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
if op's mom is jealous then op must be in pretty good shape.
sydie5 12
gee thanks
dearbarn 0
I laughed too
sxe_beast 11
Dodge challengers are ugly.
sydie5 12
Never said it was.
zakkyzebra 11
I think it's pretty funny given how old she is, too....
dearbarn 0
not when you put a v10 under the hood
TheNiftyOne 0
Agreed.
alexistheboss365 0
liked just do u won't have 69 likes ha!
dearbarn 0
to he'll with 26.. you wouldn't happen to live in hot springs AR I love hot springs AR
sydie5 12
thanks 124 I honestly wasn't trying to be a jerk or anything with that comment "aren't they all". it was supposed to be a lighthearted shrug, not a cocky, obnoxious comment
takanuva0123 0
When the guy said this isn't a dating site, he meant your description. You put your hobbies, sport, and even your height in there. Why do you want people to know so much? Because you want to meet a guy on here, and we all know it.
sydie5 12
Lol. That's a valid point but honestly I'm not that desperate. I also put my height cause it corresponds with my sport - Volleyball = must be tall. But thank you for trying to prove me wrong. I think I'd know if I wanted to meet a guy here, not you.
sydie5 12
And if I was that desperate to get a guy, I'd go on a dating site not FML lol
sydie5 12
And if I was that desperate to get a guy, I'd go on a dating site not FML lol
takanuva0123 0
The volleyball height thing? Complete bullshit. I play volleyball on a team where this one kid is 4 foot 10" and he can jump higher than me. Nice try :D
sydie5 12
alright lemme rephrase that. Volleyball = it's beneficial to be tall. Now will you leave me alone? You don't even know me so stop judging.
edogy 0
So are you 86, but we don't criticize you.
SadinSherman 16
An undating site
theonlybassist 8
haha 4's dp goes so well with his comment!
HannahForbesxo 13
Sounds like you need to talk to your mum and tell her to grow up.
broomhildo 19
Because everyone has air conditioning, right? This was supposed to be in response to #7, sorry.
JesusFishTaco 5
Tell your mom to grow up? Oh the irony.
doctorturkleton 0
ah yes, an ice bath is much more practical than wearing a swimsuit
jadengtfo 0
your ****** stupid
partyfool2011 4
I have a feeling that 6 is op's mother.
YayorNay 8
119...I think you are.
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
It's funny when people call others stupid and they don't even spell correctly.
nanner6206 24
no You ARE...you're
AstroWatermelon 0
isn't there Air Conditioning. Or at least go some where with it. Oh wait, take a bath in ice cold water instead of wearing a bathing suit.
LaughterofCorn 4
why can't she wear her bathing suit? its her mothers immaturity that's the issue here, not OP's attire.
cameron194 9
lol clothes in the freezer works amazing:p
davidisbeast 12
what does op stand for?
stef108 3
original poster
ptrsm29 6
you are pretty. you want to chat?
ShawnzieNstuff 6
Orange Penis
vickill 0
why does this have 50-
jonn090 13
noooo the girl needs to watch motherlover by lonely island it will tell her wat to do to her mom happy :D
Elfkid21 19
exactly what #55 said!! why can't she just wear he swim suit? her mom could be thinner if she'd get off her, apparently, fat ass and worked to be Skinner.
FaguIous 22
Op stands for Optimus Prime
nanner6206 24
sorry #55, meant to like
nanner6206 24
we actually don't know if OP is thin. Only that OP is thinner than her mom
8sq 13
aw, well at least your thin! :)
giosoto 0
What about her thin?
koe4 0
her thin got her in trouble so she has decided to punish her thin by adding mcdonalds to her daily diet.
l00n3yt00nz 6
lol :)
Xtra_Cheddar 3
16- that was excellent grammar nazi'ing
nanner6206 24
We actually don't know if OP is thin. Only that OP is thinner than her mom.
nickmeier1 4
Seriously?! Jealous much?
rattusrattus 19
I sense crazy mum.
sydie5 12
Let her think that. Maybe it'll rub off and make her do something about her own weight.
RebornProblem 0
For her birthday, you should get her a 12 month subscription to Weight Watchers.
sydie5 12
you're cute :)
RebornProblem 0
Thanks, you're pretty cute, too. :)
superpenguin24 0
yeah, lol
androiddestroya 7
win :D
omgcookeys 15
and for her next birthday, renew it.
howslife123 0
weight watchers doesn't work. go with Jenny Craig or Herbal Magic ..
TheHoboWerewolf 0
My thoughts exactly! haha
sammybearbby 6
you are cute, just saying :)
alerou20 6
thanks
CurlyChica808 4
91 if weight watchers doesn't work thats more of a reason to get her it:D
iseduran 5
she should be happy your not one of millions of Americans who are obese.
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
I agree. She should be happy that her daughter is not obese like many American teens are. Op basically got punished for her Mother's own insecurities.