Today, my girlfriend found an enormous rose arrangement in the back seat of my car. The flowers were from my fire chief to his wife. I forgot to deliver them. I now have to replace them since my girlfriend thinks I got them for her. The arrangement cost $225. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML
Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
Today, I bought my wife chocolates and a rose. When she got home, I told her I had a surprise but then I couldn’t find the chocolates or the rose anywhere in this frigging house, they were just gone. I had to pretend the surprise was going out for dinner but still, where the fuck did the rose go? FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML
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Top comments
tigrouficele2012 44
...and you couldn't have just told her the truth?
sting1234 0
hey at least your girlfriend didn't think you were cheating on her, although $225 is a lot of money to have to spend.
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Comments (79)
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
You should have already gotten her flowers or whatever you could afford, and if you could not afford flowers that nice fine, but Don't let her see or even smell someone else's awesome flowers!
disney_blonde 16
Maybe next time you won't forget to deliver the flowers.
popo37 0
u should have just said srry! those arent urs! and if shes mad say, but urs are at the house! and pick her up some roses at the store!
DjSmoz 0
ha ha... it's funny to read all these. and just FYI, I called his wife and my chief immediately and told him about the situation, his wife laughed and so did he. I replaced the flowers, did my 50 push ups an then sat through a 45 min lecture on responsibility. He was lenient cause I had just gotten off of a 72hr shift... and it was a busy one.
heyred 11
So you are cheap, a liar and a pussy. All wrapped neatly in one package. FYL.
roydawgg 3
ydi for disrespecting the fire chief
fthku 13
I think the fire chief using the fact that he is his boss to make OP do something COMPLETELY irrelevant to the job is what's disrespectful here. He is also being disrespectful to his wife. Can't be bothered to deliver your flowers to your own ******* wife?
InsaneGenius 0
Did your gf find out?
elizabeth705 0
should have just told her wgo they were for then went and bought a giant box of chocolates or some other crap and given it to her instead. cheaper that way cause she didnt know how much the flowers were.
devinmurnan 0
hey I was wondering... what the hell is your picture of, like is it a movie because I think I have seen that image before... and also... this FML could of been avoided if he could slow down time...
MissBunny25 0
you're an absolute idiot for leaving the flowers in the car or not saying hey those aren't yours sweetie. men and their logic... smh... lmfao