Today, my girlfriend found an enormous rose arrangement in the back seat of my car. The flowers were from my fire chief to his wife. I forgot to deliver them. I now have to replace them since my girlfriend thinks I got them for her. The arrangement cost $225. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML
Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
Today, I bought my wife chocolates and a rose. When she got home, I told her I had a surprise but then I couldn’t find the chocolates or the rose anywhere in this frigging house, they were just gone. I had to pretend the surprise was going out for dinner but still, where the fuck did the rose go? FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML
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Top comments
tigrouficele2012 44
...and you couldn't have just told her the truth?
sting1234 0
hey at least your girlfriend didn't think you were cheating on her, although $225 is a lot of money to have to spend.
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Comments (79)
letsgetouttahere 3
Why would anyone spend that much money on something that will die and be thrown out the next week, he should have got her something that can last.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Uh, why didn't you just tell her the truth? Then get her something much nicer that doesn't wilt and die after a bit like those $200+ flowers do.
kaceemae 7
why were you delivering flowers to another guy's wife in the first place? why didn't the flower shop do it or her own husband ?
iBrandon 0
I would have been pissed if I was the fire chief! how do you forget to deliver the flowers if they're worth that much?
danielw 0
you're an idiot. Just tell her the truth and I'm sure she'll forgive you.
louie111887 0
that sucks for the fire chief's wife that she didn't get her flowers yesterday. ydi buddy for forgetting to deliver them and for not getting your girlfriend something in the first place.
louie111887 0
that sucks for the fire chief's wife that she didn't get her flowers yesterday. ydi buddy for forgetting to deliver them and for not getting your girlfriend something in the first place.
sh33na_is_a_punk 0
ydi for being single
lifes_a_b1tch 7
YDI for not having the balls to tell her they weren't for her. Hey, I can get you a deal on a tattoo if you want "doormat" inked to your forehead.
taelorrae011 0
stop bitching. she's worth $225.