Today, I had the privilege of looking into my husband's eyes and uttering one of the sexiest phrases in the English language, "I need a suppository." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital because he thought it would be funny to Superglue googly eyes to his dick. FML
Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was, "Clean your glasses." FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go to the bathroom. He said, "Okay baby, go drop your load." He also used the same voice as when he talks to his cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML
Today, while at work, I had to explain over the phone to my 33-year-old boyfriend how to use Preparation H. FML
Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML
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Top comments
shannon2348 14
Why are you telling him?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Not unless OP is Richard Gere.
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Comments (6)
BurnInDemonFire 39
I'm not going near that rabbit hole...
ImminentDisaster 12
I believe it’s ‘hamster’ hole
BurnInDemonFire 39
Not unless OP is Richard Gere.
Mooglefox 24
Is this the only time you have ever let him play with your ass like that?
LostSoul 20
Vaginal or anal? I had to give my dog an enema. I have had to shave a rabbits poopy butt. Even had to give my husband a suppository. Trust me, it could be worse.
shannon2348 14
Why are you telling him?
E2dav 5
Well that is pretty sexy....
sarahcroy20 12
Why are you telling your husband? Can't you get your own??