Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML
Today, I found out my husband doesn't love me. At all. He told me this while playing Call of Duty with his friends with his microphone on. FML
Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WCARlover 35
Any man who gets angry over you giving him a ******* does not deserve a *******
Joheezy 14
That has surprisingly happened to me before, exact situation.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
rdenkewicz 11
Did he miss out on his headshot?
allplayedout 20
How did you legally marry a twelve year old?
albertozeta_fml 9
A twelve year boy would have switched off everything and paid much more attention to his wife, believe me.
catanita 18
A real men will always put head before everything else, especially a game.
SunTzu2 9
You went down on an asshole
martin8337 36
Can COD be paused midgame? If so, problem solved. .
DenBriZel 31
Not multi-player, and it sounds like that's what he was playing
DenBriZel 31
This is the exact reason why I'll never give my boyfriend head while he's doing something like that. He gets angry easily and would blame me if he lost.
Alastrina_fml 20
There's that old saying "God game man a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time."
Dekat121 24
i think its god gave men two heads, but only enough blood to run one at a time...
pred8885 14
He's a lucky guy I'd love if that situation landed in my lap lol
demonfacee 14
We're supposed to get distracted by this kind of stuff, maybe he shouldn't be playing Call of Duty while getting a *******.
ChildrenOfFilth 12
Wow. Wasted opportunity for him. I personally couldn't do it, but only because id be focused more on my girl than the game. That controller wouldn't be close to us. Lol