Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
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Top comments
AnOriginalName 19
Tell the parents to sue the little shit who thought it would be funny to shit in the pool. I'm sure you didn't tell him to do that.
Verst 16
Hold the little shit responsible. Don't take the hit.
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Comments (104)
1tsmenoah 20
It's always the FML bosses
ericcrash 13
I don't think they can sue and win if you have a warning-sign up like most pools I've ever been to.
jimmy_poison 19
A warning sign saying "don't shit in the pool?" Surely any kid old enough to be in there without direct parental supervision, should be old enough to know better. Not an attack on you, 14. Just a messed up situation
DanielleinDC 34
No but there are almost certainly warnings not to run around the pool because you could slip. I'd like to see the pool company sue the parents of the child who crapped in the pool.
Marley_000 14
No, they most definitely can't sue for something like that. At least not without ending up in debt themselves via lawyer fees. Good old tort reform. Reducing the number of stupid "I'll sue you," "Not if I sue you first" cases while simultaneously taking away the ability of employees and consumers to sue corporations for actual negligence infractions since 2003.
beaverteaser 16
guess shit rolls down hill
ckerane 16
and where was the naughty child's parents?
RedPillSucks 33
Unfortunately, unless someone witnessed him do it, he and his parents got off the hook. Your boss is being a little shit to blame you for the suits, though
iateapenguin 27
Sorry to hear about your crap situation. ;)
Sandsh8rk 36
No.
VicRC 7
so how is it your fault? not like you it's your responsibility to prevent kids from ******** in the pool
orange101 12
Well that's a shitty situation
Pleonasm 36
I'm convinced that people run scripts to comment this phrase on any FML containing the words 'shit' 'crap' 'poo' '#2' 'turd' and 'doody.'
glabberfasted 16
I'm starting to think they're bots that comment this, because they all get down thumbed into absolute oblivion and NONE of them ever comment back after.
orange101 12
You guessed correct I am a robot.
Godsofdracos 15
Son of a bitch, it's the terminator and he actually came back ;-;
1947Chevy 17
The only person they have a case against is the parents of the kid who took the crap
edward80 18
Holly crap !
ThatSlappinBass 32
As opposed to Cedar crap? :P
Godsofdracos 15
Wonder if birch crap would be white... Or brown...
False_Stupidity 42
Poplar crap perhaps?
heimdallr 14
How about Palm crap?
Sirpence 9
At least you can go swimming in chicago it's still 30 degrees outside
BellaBelle_fml 23
Punctuation, use it.