Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AnOriginalName 19
Tell the parents to sue the little shit who thought it would be funny to shit in the pool. I'm sure you didn't tell him to do that.
Verst 16
Hold the little shit responsible. Don't take the hit.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (104)
tompou6 19
You did nothing wrong OP. If the parents do bring you to court, there case will fail due to the fact they have nothing to use against you.
loidnerdy101 10
That's so shitty. And no pun intended.
Sandsh8rk 36
Just like your pun.
skittyskatbrat 19
Darwin in action. Running from a tiger and getting hurt, sure. Running from a turd to the point of injury? Sucks for you, and even though they are kids, I'm gonna give THEM a YDI. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If this goes to court, hopefully a judge will determine where the kids got their stupidity from, and award you monetary compensation for time lost from work and such due to the idiotic court case.
worldclassrager 41
You actually have no fault in this...
nicoleblair 17
I made an account just to be able to comment on this FML. As a lifeguard, I totally understand your pain. I work at an outdoor pool, so the ground isn't as slippery. I understand though that even though it is our job, it can get very difficult to control multiple kids when panic is induced. FYL op.
breakinlegs 19
How old was this turd kid? At least u helped the kids who fell down right?
Witchylady 18
Well you should threaten to sue the kid who took the crap and due his parents as well for being irresponsible.
hulopro 16
You should have filmed it. For court and for YouTube .
False_Stupidity 42
Because of course he's going to have cameras recording all the time when on the job, just in case some kid leaves a log in the pool and induces mass panic.
weveallbeenthere 30
it was funny in Cadyshack.
demonpup 12
I'm just wondering what place in the USA is hot enough to go swimming.