Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
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Top comments
AnOriginalName 19
Tell the parents to sue the little shit who thought it would be funny to shit in the pool. I'm sure you didn't tell him to do that.
Verst 16
Hold the little shit responsible. Don't take the hit.
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Comments (104)
amisenho 11
Didn't you know? Every business that isn't a daycare is obligated to babysit dumbasses like this and keep them from facing Darwin's wrath and experiencing death so they can go create more tiny dumbasses in the future! Apparently, they're above the law and are exempt from any personal responsibility once they step foot outside of the house. Hell, they probably don't have to face personal consequence for sticking a fork in an outlet in their house, either; they'd just go sue the electric company for faulty wiring or the people who manufactured the fork for false advertising.
Evilbear 16
I still wonder why Americans love to sue each other...
Omniprism 15
How are you to blame? Tell your boss what happened. Good luck.
TrinityNevada 11
You're a lifeguard. It's part of your JOB to make sure that swimmers don't get hurt. If someone does get hurt, yes, the lifeguard on duty IS going to get at least looked at. What did you expect?
Ltturner234 12
So the parents are trying to say it's your responsibility to give their children common sense? That's the problem now, we live in a society where the parents always blame someone else for their kids poor behavior/ their bad parenting. Learn to step up and take responsibility for your kids.
KenziDionne 14
Sorry OP that's messed up that you're in trouble and getting sued cause of what that child did whom obviously needs some discipline, his parents should be the ones getting sued not you. But I do hope things work out for you all the best.
Kilian205 5
'Murica
creativebeauty 14
Thats a shitty situation.
twerking_riggs 22
wth were you even supposed to do like yeah go stick your finger up his butthole so he can't shit
rene22 18
It's not your fault. Most pools have rules that say no running. They broke the rules so they suffer the consequences.