Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was texting my mom about a surprise visit, and autocorrect changed "surprise" to "surgery." I hit send before noticing, and now she thinks I’m planning some major medical procedure, and has been calling me nonstop to check if I’m OK. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, my mother told me I've gained so much weight recently, she thinks I should get gastric bypass surgery. FML
Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML
Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I had just woken up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML
Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
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Top comments
RememberSchlitz 9
I feel you. I had my uvula removed, a long time ago, because of reasons. My little sister told her friends I couldn't talk for a couple days because I'd had my vulva removed. I don't have a vulva. I never had a vulva. They are not part of the standard equipment package for guys.
mylonius 19
Good luck with your ****** surgery.
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Comments (33)
Guy_In_The_Cornr 11
It's worse because it's a guy
LittleRich 10
Had to admit this made me chuckle! Haha..
blackrose1996 11
Lmfao there's one for the wedding good luck with you ****** I mean shoulder
sam_1221 13
Good luck with the surgery! Ive had it done twice already recovery is fun!
pacman490 21
One of the paramedics walked in during my asthma attack and said "So you've got a torn labia uh labrum?" Wrong time to make me laugh.
Bunnyluver 20
Maybe your mom should have clarified, since this sounds like something you should tell people if you wanted. Good luck at your next Family Reunion!
belladonna1025 16
thanks for that laugh!!!
Flyndaran 10
Labia means lips and we all, I hope, have two of those regardless of sex.
Bearsmomma 30
Wow...how do you.....just....wow!
Tsumetai_ 11
I don't understand why the mom couldn't have just said 'shoulder surgery' why use words she doesn't know.
thrifting 18
I had MRSA from an abscessed cyst on my labia caused from an ingrown hair. I was hospitalized for it for several days and had about 15 different people see my bits. It was mortifying.