Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML
Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML
Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML
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Top comments
DarkMirror 0
o.O I think the only thing you can say in that situation is "Oh shit!"
yer_maw 1
SCORE!!!! ahaha kiddin on, that's disgusting
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Comments (339)
yaa 0
FHL, not yours.
johnts03 8
To all of you people screaming that this is a violation of doctor-patient confidentiality or HIPAA, I want you to tell me how exactly this violates either of those. The person tells us nothing about the patient other than the fact that it was a woman. There is no protected information in his statement that would allow us to identify her, himself, or the institution that this occurred at. Unless there is a way to connect this story to the actual person it is about, then there is no violation.
johnts03 8
Also, for all you doubters, see http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/fecal+vomiting It's called fecal vomiting, and yes, it can happen! It's not technically fecal matter (as it isn't from the large bowel, but actually from the small bowel) but it smells similar.
SunshinePants 0
Two girls one cup! Ü
intrepid00 0
Bullcrap. My grandfather actually had his digestive track stop flowing and code blued and spent more than a month intesive care.
koda_fml 0
Ewh.
FallenBlood 0
Couldn't she have begun to vomit, or did she need to PROCEED?
ID0ntHaveAName 0
That is not possible at all. You are the biggest liar ever
Jeff_Dunham 0
PROCEED PROCEEDED DEY BURN!!
Gofukurslf 0
Please, you'd get gastrointestinal perforation if your bowels were blocked. That is medically impossible, you saw it on house. But your life is f*** for making up an fml. I'm really suprised how many people are stupid enought to believe this.