FML
United States
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Mew
United States
Hard pass
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Vomit
Today, we had a patient projectile vomiting in our ambulance. I didn't know she had puked on our cot until I found it with my bare hand at the hospital. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Andy
United States
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
militarywife2b
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
France
Stay classy
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Anonymous
United States
Pleased to meet you
Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML
Anonymous
Grossed out
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Kybo5
Elk Grove, United States
Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML
Preggo
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
DirtyNurse
Center Point, United States
Such a rewarding career
Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML
Top comments
travisv23 0
You guys are idiots. It's not 'your job' to get puked on. Your job in this case would be to help people. Being to stupid to realize the difference must be why you guys are here posting that garbage in the first place. Now Hiring: Position to be puked on? Morons..
evilhobbitofdoom 4
Been there, done that, that's why extra scrubs are good
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Comments (44)
alexandraa_fml 0
sucks for you!!
Ezekeyle 0
SUCK IT UP, CUPCAKE!
apolo_fml 0
LOL this reminds me of Monte python,
sarahalyssa_fml 0
this reminds me when my mom held up a bag and I missed. Luckily it didnt hit her face but her new Coach purse.
alexandraa_fml 0
sucks for you!!
quite_bored 9
We heard you the first time!
jcrook 0
You say 'patient', so you're, what, a doctor/nurse/porter? You should be used to this kind of shit. It's what you get paid for.
GreenHacker 0
He's clearly new. Probably first day/week.
BeeSkwaird 0
How did this even make it through? Borrrinnnng. Not an FML.
aero_fml 0
Yeah.. it's like "I spilled some oil on my hands while working at Jiffy Lube, FML" Comes with the job, if you don't like it, get out while you still can
ElMundio87 0
not a FML
nofxtime 0
Second that, I guess some people moderating have really low standards.
evilhobbitofdoom 4
Been there, done that, that's why extra scrubs are good
XaosZaleski 0
Hm... Pretty sure that if you go into that kind of field you should expect things like that to happen. This sounds more like; "Today, I did my job. FML"
Kickmehard 0
This.
rossea 21
You think OP decided to apply for being puked on as a job? The FML is that she got puked on by someone obviously unwell, not that she's doing her job.
awesome_o 0
i'm pretty sure they won't deduct the gloves from your paycheck.
perdix 31
You shouldn't have said, "Miss! Miss! Miss!" In her physical state, how was she to know that you were trying to get her attention instead of instructing her not to hit the target?
latkematzoball 0
ur a docor u should be trained to be ready for that. pussy
Books4Me 0
By saying patient I assume you're a doctor of some sort? Sorry but if you can't handle this it's obviously not the job for you. People have to clean up puke every day when their child/parent/friend gets sick, and as a doctor, this is going to happen A LOT more to you.