Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say, "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in a rush, I attempted to microwave leftover pizza slices. Unbeknownst to me, I accidentally hit the 'defrost' button, turning the pizza into a lukewarm soggy mess. I guess pizza should never be reheated in 'thaw mode'. FML
Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML
Today, I tried to reheat some leftover pizza in the microwave but forgot to take the plastic wrap off. The microwave filled with smoke, and the plastic melted onto the pizza. I ate burnt plastic-flavored pizza for lunch, because pizza is pizza and I couldn't bring myself to through it away. FML
Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML
Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML
Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I was heating up my rig and about to do a dab when the rig piece fell out onto my hotel blanket, melting it, and getting plastic on the rig. Then I went to fan the smoke detector and I grabbed a pizza box, not thinking about if it was empty or not, and pizza flew everywhere as I fanned. FML
Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML
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Top comments
TheMaster15 10
Ohhh buurnnn
Spottedfeather 7
Why was the cardboard still under the pizza ? That's kind of a dumb move to put that in the microwave.
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Comments (186)
SkoomaKi 28
Cheese for everyone!
JukeboxValkyrie 19
Scratch that, cheese for no one! Which is just as much a celebration really if you don't like cheese. Don't worry, Skooma. I got the Sheogorath reference!
farhil 14
Ah, juicebox, thanks for clearing that up. I should have realized when I saw the name 'skooma'. Gotta love that moon sugar
JukeboxValkyrie 19
Juicebox? O.o Hmm...so I have a thin tube protruding from my body that people drink from? No wonder I keep hearing slurping sounds then I faint. It all makes sense now.
DaniPandi 22
Sounds painful... O.O
BaconDave 12
No, that sounds ******* delightful.
kionnaloves 11
A ninja you are not.
MichellinMan 20
ummmm... ok.
Akharr01 5
Do not speak of ninja's in public!!!!!!!
meesa 0
yeah that happens unlucky though use a plate next time (non metalic that would be bad)
Vulpes21 6
Lol, first world problems.
AxJxA 14
Ouch, sorry OP :/ Rub some silvadene on your burn & that should help.
ladyLALAA 29
That stuff is amazing!
alwayzgone7 9
They do have microwaveable pizzas that you can just keep on the cardboard while cooking... Wouldn't recommend it, but thats the idea that company had, I take it.
aimeeroste 0
Thats why you dont put cardboard in the microwave.
MichellinMan 20
shut up you puckered asshole some microwave pizzas do use cardboard.
taaaaaylor 0
39, calm down..if there's cardboard with microwaveable pizza, you're usually supposed to take the cardboard out before microwaving the pizza, so stop having a cow.
Ciraxas 7
It's perfectly fine to microwave cardboard...
Spottedfeather 7
No, it's not. Especially if you have something oily on top of it. The oil will soak into the cardboard, making it really flimsy and not easy to handle. I don't know why people use common sense before cooking.
logan1819 4
You must have really wanted the pizza
logan1819 4
You must have really wanted the pizza