Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say, "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in a rush, I attempted to microwave leftover pizza slices. Unbeknownst to me, I accidentally hit the 'defrost' button, turning the pizza into a lukewarm soggy mess. I guess pizza should never be reheated in 'thaw mode'. FML
Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML
Today, I tried to reheat some leftover pizza in the microwave but forgot to take the plastic wrap off. The microwave filled with smoke, and the plastic melted onto the pizza. I ate burnt plastic-flavored pizza for lunch, because pizza is pizza and I couldn't bring myself to through it away. FML
Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML
Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML
Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I was heating up my rig and about to do a dab when the rig piece fell out onto my hotel blanket, melting it, and getting plastic on the rig. Then I went to fan the smoke detector and I grabbed a pizza box, not thinking about if it was empty or not, and pizza flew everywhere as I fanned. FML
Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML
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Top comments
TheMaster15 10
Ohhh buurnnn
Spottedfeather 7
Why was the cardboard still under the pizza ? That's kind of a dumb move to put that in the microwave.
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Comments (186)
jroxursox1 10
It's either Antartica
jroxursox1 10
It's either northern hemisphere cold or molten lava hot!! Never a happy medium. It's kinda like a shower. Or a hot pocket.
lolyeahthatsme 11
would you like some aloe for that burn?
morrionis 0
...you dont cook the cardboard. Dumba*s
kylewyote13 1
this sounds like a first world problem to me. I work at a restaurant, if molten cheese is your worst issue, you're lucky. I've been personally introduced to second degree burns from steam, hot metal, boiling water, and a variety of other burn inducers around the kitchen. 90% of which were NOT my fault. next time, wear an oven mitt...or be patient...you know, that thing when you wait?
tyghl55 4
You're a fat mess for eating them anyways
clm123455 14
Cool story bro.
fantasyworld 39
The cardboard is mostly there to hold the pizza while it's in the package.