Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML
I've got blisters on my fingers
Today, I learned the hard way that my oven mitt has a hole. Time to get a new one, whenever my finger stops burning. FML
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
Hazardous
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML
Slippery when wet
Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML
Top comments
bieberfied 4
Looks like that pan was too hot to handle!
DocBastard 40
Sounds like your cooking didn't exactly pan out.
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Comments (135)
bieberfied 4
Looks like that pan was too hot to handle!
Pelvispresley 8
Yeah op shouldn't have touched the handle without a mitt. Everyone Nose that!
bieberfied 4
I see what you did there!
bieberfied 4
Oh wow, it seemed like I was commenting on my own comment, I wasn't. -_-
Mauskau 36
I have a feeling the thumbs downs to your comments are because of your name.
Dylan94_fml 8
I never use mitts when holding a pan by the handle, pans that you put on the stove should have handles that don't conduct heat well.. all of mine do
crakzila 4
More like when someone points out the obvious fml(ers) like to thumb people down. But good try ;)
SeedlessMe 13
Wow, good call, 59! I was about to give her a thumbs up till you made me notice her name ;)
jesustitts 20
Cast iron pans don't have plastic handles.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
If you read her about me, it says her cousin set her username and she couldn't change it. Shit, you guys are judgemental.
charlieisawesome 4
It's not really anything to do with judgement. Or her. Who cares. They don't like Justin bieber.
cyanidesandwich 21
If you mean the handle, then it is of course going to be hot. Shoulda used an oven mitt
mbusey 20
Actually, the handle shouldn't be hot because it's not over the flame...
griffins33 4
No she grabbed the other handle that's always cool!
Crlnprz 11
I thought it depends.. because my mom has some pans were the handle is just metal and it gets hot and she has other ones with like rubber handles that dont.
skokob 7
Dumb ass take high school science again! Melt conducts heat! So if one part is on a open heat source then the heat will travel trough it!
woainishamu 21
Melt conducts heat? 0_0
skokob 7
In physics, thermal conductivity, k (also denoted as λ or κ), is the property of a material's ability to conduct heat. It appears primarily in Fourier's Law for heat conduction.
jesustitts 20
29-if you have all metal pots and pans or cast iron pans no matter what the handle will heat up. Stick a metal spoon in a pot, leave it and grab it. Hot. Very hot.
skokob 7
#118 thanks and tell me have u tried typing on a cell phone keypad it sucks so u can f u ok.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I'm typing on my iPhone's keyboard. I do for every one of my comments. My spelling isn't bad, and neither is my grammar.
dog1999 2
Now that's a trifecta. Sorry op
lukep135 6
I have no idea why this comment is thumbed down. Must be some tough critics
jkmartinjk 16
^ Because most people don't know what a trifecta is.
briancallahan 3
Dumb ass...
DocBastard 40
Sounds like your cooking didn't exactly pan out.
Lexi_princess 3
Doc, I know this isn't relevant to your comment but I'm new to FML and I noticed on you page your posted an FML and it was confirmed can you tell me what it is?
DocBastard 40
Lexi - Do a search by username. You'll find it.
Lexi_princess 3
Thx Doc
Lexi_princess 3
I still can't seen to find it Doc. Whatever that's fine.
DogsPaw 16
Is this ER material Doc? Reference to recent Blog post... :P
DocBastard 40
Lexi - check your PMs for the link.
Lexi_princess 3
Okay I'll try that.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Can I also get a PM with the link?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
99) I read that as "check your PMS"
saintsrocksocks 10
Chipmunk, I did also. I shat bricks.
shireman97 6
That's why you make the woman cook instead
DocBastard 40
HAHA! Misogyny is so funny! Oh wait, no it's not. **** you.
Bonzer 2
Who said OP is male? The FML doesn't specify.
bieberfied 4
You should know better than to comment that way, especially when DocBastard is on the thread. :)
Bonzer 2
Also, I just learned a new word. Misogyny... interesting. Thanks Doc.
MichellinMan 20
Man, this website went from a place where people laugh, to group therapy, and now everybody wants to kill people... Geez.
Lexi_princess 3
Don't post things like this you idiot.
beatlegirl27 20
It could be a woman
Pelvispresley 8
Thats why no one likes sexist pigs like you
crakzila 4
It has started to seem like group therapy now doesn't it ? But still funny :)
theslimshadylp 6
That's why you should learn to cook it sounds like your gonna be single forever.
lukep135 6
So jokes are only ok whenever you find them funny and aren't offended?
TurtleSmile 14
Hahahahaha when reading this FML I thought of Harry from Dumb and Dumber(er?) (don't remember which one) where he breaks the girls side mirror and sets himself on fire.
keven501 12
That must of been panful
GothicAngel17 24
*have have ******* HAVE not OF! *rageragerage* Sorry guys, just had to let that one out. Even intelligent people do this, and I've read books with this mistake repeatedly made. Makes me rage.
hollenbackam 12
No shit Sherlock
Pandacupcakelove 26
50- Wow, I never heard that one before! Did you come up with that all by yourself? So original!
luvdolphin 9
Would have given it a thumbs up but the swearing didn't exactly help
Jaxx66 21
84- you're worried about 'curse words'? You may want to never read comments again, I warn you now since you are new.
kemando 22
That's almost as bad as when people say "mine as well"... It's MIGHT dammit! And in this case, HAVE.
botanistjessica 24
I've seen people say "might as well" as "mines well"
curlyfry33 8
Like when people say "I could care less" instead of "I couldn't care less", that's by far my biggest pet peeve.
urbanimpression 6
Woah..... That's intensely crazy
Marrach 7
8- You tried too hard.
supportcommand 17
Anyone else confused by this post ? Sounds to me that the handle was hot but not the rest of the pan. How that's possible escapes me. Anyway, can't believe you passed out from it. Pussy.
jmacfan1 16
I'm confused too
Meettitan 14
9- You are not alone. It seems as if this FML defies the laws of thermodynamics.
MichellinMan 20
I'm not sure if you know what a third degree burn is like. ******' hurts.
griffins33 4
Ok so they grabbed the handle which was hot since the handle is attached to the pot it heats up too. Third degree burns means that I burner all of the skin off all the way to the bone so it's one of the most painful things ever.
lotrgeek 10
Maybe OP turned on the wrong element? Makes sense to me..
supportcommand 17
I understand 3rd degree burns. But really, how f'n long was this thing on and how long did op hold onto it to do that. I'm going with YDI
Soloman212 28
Also, OP claims that the part of the pan touching the stove wasn't hot, which is the mind bending part. That also begs the question; why the **** did OP touch the part of the pan touching the stove?!
MichellinMan 20
47- seriously its not hard to understand if your brain is bigger than the tip of my pinkie.
matt5217 4
I'm calling this one a fake
ManInTheMachine 20
Supportcommand: With an ignorant statement like that, you've very obviously never had third-degree burns. Actually, scratch that; you're just ignorant. I've never had more than a first-degree burn, and even I understand that they can be as instantaneous as being struck by lightning. Passing out doesn't make him a pussy. People have different ways with coping with pain. Not everyone is a 'Macho dude' with muscles as thick as your skull. With your logic, you must still believe in the 5 second rule with food.
MrTittySprinkles 7
To answer the question of how only the handle was hot could have been using a gas stove and the handle was near the burner he was using and speaking from experience he is a puss for blacking out I've dropped molten slag through my foot and not bitched as much as this guy
Cyrren 22
Yep, seriously let go of the handle if it's too hot! This moron decided to try out for the world record of stupidity.
supportcommand 17
Thank you 71. It seems as though maninthemachine might be as much of a puss as op. and I'd like to thank machine for complimenting the structural integrity of my skull. It is very strong. And finally, I operate more on the 2 to 3 second rule, with several conditions I won't get into here.
ManInTheMachine 20
TittySprinkles: You say it like he had control over whether or not he passed out. OP: *touches handle* Oh shi-- *almost blacks out* Nah, I got this. Yeah, doesn't work that way dumbass. Again, people handle pain differently. You didn't pass out? Great, here's a gold ******* star, but that's worth about as much as what came out of my ass this morning.
ManInTheMachine 20
Supportcommand: If in your ignorant mind, reacting involuntarily and passing out is 'being a pussy', then you're right. You even admit you've never had a third degree burn. Imagine the putrid stench of your own skin burning, watching the palm of your hand bubbling from the heat and the searing pain associated with the two. If that doesn't, at the very least, make you light-headed, then you're ******* brain-dead. But please, go on with this façade of being a tough guy. You seem to have convinced yourself it's true.
MichellinMan 20
You can pass out from many things. I used to babysit, and I had some ****** up kids. One of them Hit me in the head with an aluminum baseball bat. Yea, I passed out. But that doesn't mean I'm a pussy. Some people pass out easier than others. I'd rather be puched in the face By Mike Tyson than have a third degree burn. And to whoever said molten slag was poured on your foot, you're full of shit.
bjobabygirl 12
Ouch wear a mitten at all time from now on so u can keep that medical bill down
jesustitts 20
You mean oven mitt. Mittens are things used to keep warm. Oven mitts are used to keep from getting warm when holding pots, pans, etc.
jmayes414 5
It works either way.
Pelvispresley 8
Mitt= abbreviation of mitten
jesustitts 20
Mitten and oven mitt aren't the same.
jenniiienyc 5
We're you by any chance going to fry.. BACON?! Mmm:)
jesustitts 20
Yes OP. Answer. We are you? Or is it really you are we?