Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML
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Top comments
nokillnobeepbeep 0
I guess wood and penetration aren't always a good thing.
passwordis_fml 2
u know, there are safety rules to avoid such things, haven't u learnt from ned's declassified school survival guide lol
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Comments (146)
OneSadGuy 3
I love the pun in his name. Oh and by the way... careful being around kids now. That kid was trying to make a new "hole" because his girlfriend wouldn't let him in hers. Guard that hand. Guard it!
edogyo7 0
Oh yeah, and thats why your typing and that stuff. Shouldnt you relax your hand. And if you were just using the other hand, thats a waste of time. Real Smart Buddy..
angryseatroll 5
I'm actually gonna call fake on this. First of all. Why would you be on the computer, with a bad bandaged up hand...? And second of all, it's hard to dobthibgs like that. Unless you use the equipment improperly.
Mish_fml 0
Fake. x: I wouldn't even go on FML if that happened to my hand. :/
michaelcarell 0
faaaakkeee
jessxoxo28 5
OUCHIES!!!!! but how did u even write this fml if ur hand got drilled?
sf22189 0
Weird. Out of my 5 shop classes (including metal and wood classes) we were never allowed to hold the material. How are you a teacher? Use some damn clamps! YDI
R3nesmee 0
Idiot! I was in shop class and my teacher made it perfectly clear to keep your hands AWAY from the dangerous end of a power tool. Sheesh...
Skellig 2
Had you considered learning how to use tools before trying to teach others? Might have been clever, h-uh?
invdrd 0
clamps?