Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nokillnobeepbeep 0
I guess wood and penetration aren't always a good thing.
passwordis_fml 2
u know, there are safety rules to avoid such things, haven't u learnt from ned's declassified school survival guide lol
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (146)
XxCoolPersonxX 0
ewww god I'm sorry that mustve hurt THIS is an FML unlike other lnea
mirage24_fml 0
Good object lesson, teacher. He will NEVER forget it. You really put yourself into your work, don't you?
CoffeeCovered 0
Oh, man, that sucks. It's like what happened to my theatre craft teacher. She was holding some wood up for a kid to staple gun together, the kid saw that he missed a spot on the side that she was holding up, and before she could react, he stapled her thumb to the wood. She said it was pretty funny after, though, 'cause the kid ran around, freaking out and yelling "I shot my teacher!"
giganticbrain 0
"Got dammit, just drilled through my hand. Only thing that'll heal the wound is going on FML and complaining about it. Oh wait, I can't ******* type."
rocksocks 0
i dont know about where your from, but around here people have 2 hands, and can easily type with 1, unless they are retarded
xoconnie 8
WTF WHY THE HELL WOULD UR HAND BE UNDER THE WOOD THE KID WAS DRILLING. either ur a retarded teacher or u made this up. wowwwww looooseerrrrr
monkeywrench 0
YDI for being an idiot. maybe this will teach you to observe the proper safety protocol that YOU SHOULD BE TEACHING TO YOUR STUDENTS
phoenix03 0
yep, cause if someone drilled through my hand i would rush home to post it on FML too. nice
israelnotjacob 20
Okay, this one does sound suspiciously fake I admit, but don't use the logic that because he posted on here the same day it's fake. If it is real he didn't post it the same day. Only a select few FMLs are actually posted the same day I'm sure. Most of them probably aren't at least until a day later, if not a few days. That's just what's stupid about this website. It's some rule that you have to say "Today" at the beginning of every story. I think occasionally you see one that doesn't start that way, but almost all of them are that way. I don't know who decided to make it that way, but it's pretty dumb. People should just be able to write "yesterday" or "the other day" or whatever else, because yeah, in most cases these probably weren't the same day.
akshar 0
thats wat i was wondering. Why the heck would u post an fml about it the same day. The guy wouldve had to have gone to the hospital for a while. Not everyone says today first.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Seriously, people, get a brain. Just because it SAYS "today" does not mean it actually happened TODAY. Posting "Today," before the actual FML and "FML" after it just complies with the site's rules. *sob*
israelnotjacob 20
I think a few don't start with "today" but about 98% of them do. I dare you to actually look for one that doesn't. You many find an occasional one, but I guarantee it'll be extremely rare.
acyh 0
i don't meant to be insensitive..but are u typing this with one hand?
KippyNittles 0
This is the coolest thing I've ever read, and assumed was real.
KalvinAlexander 0
Don't **** with power tools .. they will eat you alive ..