Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML
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Top comments
nokillnobeepbeep 0
I guess wood and penetration aren't always a good thing.
passwordis_fml 2
u know, there are safety rules to avoid such things, haven't u learnt from ned's declassified school survival guide lol
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Comments (146)
ss_super_sad 0
@ #56: You won in epic proportions.
looneyben5432 0
look at this way, now you have an interesting rule
BeeHappy_fml 0
Omg yes I totally felt this!!! OW my hand hurts just thinking about it!!
hbomb5150 0
that's baaaad
volleyball244 0
aren't you required to give the students a safety test before they use power tools?... apparently you need to take one too
G_thelegend 0
how can you TYPE? shouldnt it be like, badnaged and stitched and whatnot?
Nympho_Ninja 0
And you're posting an FML how? FYL, but you seem like a dummy so it was probably your fault.
hihowudern 0
lol number 12 so tru
effarve 2
i call total bullshit! there is no way your leaving your hand there in one spot after you feel the pain from the drill bit for one second... bullshit