Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML
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Top comments
nokillnobeepbeep 0
I guess wood and penetration aren't always a good thing.
passwordis_fml 2
u know, there are safety rules to avoid such things, haven't u learnt from ned's declassified school survival guide lol
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Comments (146)
Fenrir_fml 1
Then this must have been a bitch to type then.
plexico 4
Good thing you don't teach Sex Ed! If you think those teenage boys like to drill pine wood, wait 'til you see what they would do to an unsuspecting hole!
stanzskin 0
Damn Plexico, you're funny as hell. Are you a stand-up philosopher?
Captain_Jello 0
you do NOT need to be a teacher if you can't practice safety.
alZii 0
Haha, modern day version of being resurrected... hope you're okk!
masturbasian 0
Ouch, that's got to hurt, but don't you think that if you held the piece of wood a different way? I mean if you held it that way, something was bound to happen. You should've been more careful. Tsk tsk.
shangrilaa 0
YDI for not using a clamp. How are you even typing this??
Ranoona 0
yeah how can you type dis?
fringle 0
I really don't understand why there are woodshop classes.
wyld3fyr3 3
so that people can learn a useful skill at school for a change
Neopopulas 9
Serves you right for not being more careful, and observes worksafe practices. What were you doing holding the wood in such a way the kid could 'drill too far' and get your hand? Thats not a FML (unless you are FMLing because you're retarded then i agree)
AshleyRose784 0
considering I know nothing about wood shop I'm just gonna say "ouch!!!"