Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML
Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
Today, my mom wanted to surprise me by buying me a hamster. When I got into her car, I was actually surprised and even said, "Hi" to the hamster. When we got home, the hamster was dead. FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
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Top comments
i_live2fly 0
OMFG that is one ****** up kid!!!!!!!!
steakpak 0
Ya, that's gonna be a little problem. Most serial killers have a history of harming animals as children. You should seriously seek some professional help for him.
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Comments (511)
arrowspoint3 0
Holy shit was the hamster ok???
Capnstinkfoot 0
Hang ur bro ... now
heavenandhell 0
WTF YOU DONT KILL PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO PLAY WITH A HAMSTER!
martie5 0
Omg **** your brothers life!! He needs councling .........
UFCFIGHTER 0
F your life? More like f the hamsters life lol
Freaky_Darlings 0
Oh my god. ._. Please do something before your brother turns psycho killer. XD; ( I mean, I hope he gets better...)
catatonicsleep 17
33, how you wrote it made me feel even sadder about it. 113 are you sure you mean psychotic and not psychopathic? Seriel killers and such are usually psychopathic, I think, rather than psychotic. I could be wrong....
rocker8877 0
**** you number 5, that kid needs serious help
mjsmclaren 0
His name doesn't happen to be Michael Meyers does it?
sux_too_beh_mehz 0
#81= xD xD cant stop laughing Survival tips for phycho bro: 1:tell ur parents 2:once they have told em go to ur room lock it 3:make sure ur windows are well closed 4:make sure u have wepon 5:if u hear wood breaking or hitting noices get ready 6:make sure u have wood to make a new baracade for round 2 7:make vidoe for proof 9:if he does win round 2 resort to 10: if not resort to 11: 10:kill urself 11:lock him up in his room baracade everything 12:if all else fails resort to 13 13:call the army for airstrikes actualy just get him some help seriously lock ur room long line of killing brothers who use to be mean with em!