Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today, I was on a first date when my lactose intolerance decided to make an appearance. My date thought I was just “getting comfy” when I kept shifting in my seat. Nope, I was trying not to fart. FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML
Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my date's popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML
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Top comments
kika_fml 0
Lol, why didnt you just go to the bathroom?
ZeShadow 0
You dropped DA BOMB on her
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Comments (165)
Krypt0night 0
Unless you somehow knew for a fact that it was going to not smell whatsoever, then its a bad idea. You should have just walked out of the theater for 30 seconds, made sure that the smell left your pants, and then return.
wbe2 0
wow. that really sucks
Mr_Kennedy 4
Well you can't hold them in forever. They have to come out eventually.
TheAntiComment 0
thank god a funny FML. this is great
yourfaceXo 1
if i was that girl i would have just laughed. Im a girl and idc what anyone says farting is ******* hilarious
Bobocho12 0
i love how the first few comments are original and then everything after that just complies with the rest. its a rule for EVERY single FML comment list
fml2424 0
HAHAHHAHA if i were on a date with a guy and that happened i would have DIEDDDD laughing.. better luck next time haha
neonoodle 0
She excused herself to go to the bathroom... take that hint.
PlasticShark 0
if it was going to turn into anything long-term, she would have had to put up with all your bodily functions for life, so if she couldn't handle one fart, she's a twat.
SVelasquez 0
And this is why we have Bean-O. Meh, I agree with Plastic, if she can't deal with a fart, she's gonna have trouble dealing with a normal man.