Today, my husband played a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Today, my husband sent me a short video of my snoring last night because I wanted to hear how bad I sound. The first few seconds went by OK, but for the rest of the clip I could barely hear anything else over the sound of my husband taking a long piss in our bathroom. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
He should have made them into a song. That's the only acceptable way to listen to such noises.
igive 29
Destroy it before it hits youtube...if it's not too late.
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Comments (69)
vividpictures 17
I guess he'll be sleeping on the couch for a while.
albertozeta_fml 9
What an idiot
Mama4ddk 15
I agree, her family should really get a sense of humor. It's not like he presented them with a scratch and sniff poster! It sounds we all make, oh no let's hide under a rock and pretend none of us farts, moans, groans, grunts, sighs, etc... in our sleep or anywhere else actually !
ulissey_fml 22
Give him a clue ; get him a dvd of Gone with the Wind.
xxAmyHerexx 4
Seriously... At dinner.
kiaora_fml 11
How can it prove it was you, maybe he recorded it of himself to have a go at you OP, just saying :P
Lilsbills 15
Wow sounds like an asshole to me but im sure everything will be fine
nikko0328 9
its a real relationship when you dont have to hold it in your bowls. lol
The_4th_Doctor 13
Sorry you're married to such an immature 12-year-old OP!
boshbish 14
Your husband is awesome. Lighten up and have a little laughter in life and with your husband. I'm sure every single one of those family members has heard you farting st some stage in your life. Babies do it all the time.
iwadasn 33
There's nothing awesome about deliberately humiliating your wife in front of her entire family.
Mama4ddk 15
He's awesome! Her family's too uptight they need to loosen up, get a sense of humor, and stop making a big deal over something so trivial.
LunarServant 10
File for divorce