Today, my husband played a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Today, my husband sent me a short video of my snoring last night because I wanted to hear how bad I sound. The first few seconds went by OK, but for the rest of the clip I could barely hear anything else over the sound of my husband taking a long piss in our bathroom. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
He should have made them into a song. That's the only acceptable way to listen to such noises.
igive 29
Destroy it before it hits youtube...if it's not too late.
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Comments (69)
Saraishi 25
Return the favor! :D
Mama4ddk 15
As I've said in response to a couple comments, I don't understand what the big deal is he was at the dinner table yeah but it's not like you could smell any of the things you were listening to. I can understand if you were in nice restaurant but you weren't. Also, if you can't pass gas or burp around your family who can you? It seems to me like your family is to up tight and they need to relax there are more important things to get their panties in a bunch over this just doesn t seems to be something like that is that big of a deal. FYL because you needed to be embarrassed because of your family's lack of humor.
AlgarinJailene 7
Can't stop laughing! Omg that must have been terrible, I am sorry!
sirdano 3
I changed my wifes ringer that way once. and it went off during a quiet church session.
mat_sib 18
Divorce?
Kamp_West 11
so the husband has been secretly recording his wife while she was asleep over a long period of time. i would be far more horrified over that fact, then the idea of farting while sleeping. i'm pretty sure everyone has done a snoring video of their partner once or twice, but to collect enough over time for a compilation?