Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be nice to take my obese dog for a walk, since she hasn't had one in a long time. She was doing great, until we were about a mile from our house. She plopped down on the ground and wouldn't move. Nobody was home so I had to carry her all the way back to our house. FML
Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, after watching TV, my boyfriend and I had to go walk our dog. I was too lazy to get up from the couch immediately so I teased him by turning off all the (smart) lights using my phone. He got mad and went upstairs to continue watching TV, so now I have to walk the dog alone. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML
Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML
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Top comments
Bostern 29
He sounds like a... Handful
pieman528 10
Or.... You would've looked like some kind of hero carrying a tired dog around. People like that stuff, ask the Internet.
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Comments (84)
Bostern 29
He sounds like a... Handful
EsotericBrent 29
Only a medium-sized one, though.
StalkerChick 13
Yea, at least she doesn't have a St. Bernard.
spekledworf 18
When I was young, my stubborn rottie decided she wanted to sleep in the middle of a busy intersection. Not fun.
tjv3 10
Umm he is a dog . You are on top in the food chain. Make him walk
untouchable763 10
Least he wasn't in your purse.
tormcn 26
this has happened to me
flockz 20
no no he was just tired of being mistaken for a bitch.
horsesaboveppl 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't worry. Better to be a crazy dog lady than a crazy cat lady.
iOceanus 18
I sense some... petsism going on here. Wait, is that even a word?
KrazieKleo 13
It is now! Kudos!
netflixislove 32
Cat lady's are amazing
Charmillionaire 13
If you thought you looked crazy, you might as well have played the whole part. "Now what did we say about chasing the cupcake fairies?!"
MrsPegg 45
I may get down voted for this, but I literally laughed out loud at the mental image of OP doing that!
Moochi456 20
We don't chase them. Just the pink mini giraffes that give out purple pikachus that have the acid tablets that only cost one nose hair. The cupcake faries pillow cases cost two nose hairs and a tooth! So in conclusion if u lick perfume, I'm afraid of staplers.
Catkam623 27
Ummm what I got the first part but at staplers you lost me.
Riliana_fml 7
I favorited this just because of your comment/
pieman528 10
Or.... You would've looked like some kind of hero carrying a tired dog around. People like that stuff, ask the Internet.
PrincessPesa 20
Yes. Carrying an adorable dog exponentially increases a person's attractiveness. Speaking of, I need a 'good-looking people holding doggies 2013' calendar. Can someone get on that please?!
ttqq 7
Find a burning building. Carry the dog out of it. Hero, not crazy.
PenguinBitch 44
Your dog's the boss. Free ride and he made you his bitch.
sunkissedluster 20
hun, dont worry about what other people think, dont let the haters ruin your life :)
sens3sfailing 25
Oh god. You again, and you think everyone is drinking hateraide. I doubt people would hate her for carrying her mid sized dog. You even misused a stupid concept! Congratulations!
sunkissedluster 20
are you following me around or something?? i was just saying she shouldnt care what people think about carrying a dog around, whats so bad about that? go away, creep...
sens3sfailing 25
Second time I have replied to you, you have a very strange idea of following you around...also, not caring what others think is one thing, a thing I agree with. Calling them haters is different. That was the point.
PrincessPesa 20
14, you just have to love her for how terrible she is. Like a persistent fungus or an invasive species. There will always be those who drink the Haterade. This chick is so out of touch, she's absolutely cringeworthy. Don't choke on your vitriol over some overblown bimbo.
Shrike 24
Jeez, you guys are being a little harsh on her. Doesn't matter how dumb you think someone is, it's not like she insulted anyone. Chill out and pick your battles, ffs. You're just coming across as assholes.
PrincessPesa 20
22 I felt the same way you did until I finally checked out her profile. She's notorious for these hater comments. I wanted to tell 14 to let her be and ended up sounding harsher than I'd intended. If I sound like a dick, so be it. Sometimes you just have to let the messes be messy. I'll not get involved in the future.
Schizomaniac 24
I was going to agree with Shrike until I saw on that girl's profile that apparently I am a fuckhead who should delete his account. I have literally never seen this chick comment, ever. Carry on, then.
AbstraktThoughts 13
8 - Jesus Christ. Thank god your looks don't reflect your poor grammar. Don't even get me started on the weed. I hope you pass quickly through this phase of your life where you feel as if you're an adult by smoking weed and drinking and doing all that shit. Grow the **** up. If you're gonna hate on other commenters, be prepared to receive some in return. Good day to you :)
kiwienne 21
Someone ban this woman or at least tell her to delete all the offensive stuff on her profile. Let's all hope she'll meet a great person who'll change her terrible attitude :(. 18 years old and this...
da_directioner39 17
Well, at least you weren't throwing your dog around. I've actually had to carry my aunt's huge dog.
PrincessPesa 20
Sounds like your walk was a total drag.