Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I had the place to myself for a while and it was easy to clean, my roommate returned and I woke up to trash piling up, dishes everywhere, and luggage full of sweaty laundry. Oh, and it smells like poo again, because he doesn't regularly shower. I want to scream. FML
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML
Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML
Today, I learned that my housemate used a dry vacuum to unclog the toilet before moving out and then didn't change the vacuum bag. He left several weeks ago. FML
Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML
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Top comments
macsterfun 3
I'm still sad that you guys kicked me out...
aFatFuck 0
So either tell him to stop using your shit or find another roommate.
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Comments (80)
Kurtykat 2
I think it's time to "borrow" some of your roommates cash.
aligiorav 11
Easily fixed. Just start borrowing his stuff without replacing them. Like his clothes, shoes, furniture, girlfriend. I'm sure he'll get the message then
Iswear 4
While good in theory, chances are the new roommate won't learn his lesson this way. He'll just try to make himself seem like more of the victim. OP, talk to him or kick him out.
lindseyluvszac 4
Seriously instead of bitching on FML, do something about like it like mix your cum with your shampoo, give it that little ompf
lindseyluvszac 4
So here's the basis of my moderated comment: OP, cum, shampoo bottle, lots of laughs, perfect revenge :)
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
did he give any of it back... like the toilet paper... then he just may be "dirtier" than the last one!
BeautyMonster 17
With him stealing your alcohol, maybe you'll get your wish of having to clean up after your roommate after all!
cupcakesnpot 9
but you don't know for sure that he does in fact have his own toothbrush!
aligiorav 11
Easily fixed. Just start borrowing his things without replacing them. Like his clothes, shoes, furniture, girlfriend. I'm sure he'll get the message
05559 1
LOL.
Mikonam_fml 8
Sharing is caring :)
SteveTheJanitor 6
Not in this situation
elmogoezRAWR 0
Sharing is caring but stealing is illegal.
sara_saturday 5
lay down the law! boundaries! or raise the rent to include cost of toiletries
adrianm413 0
go find him and break his nose. I be he won't pull that shit again.
Kammasaurus_Sex 7
This proves that there are consequences for everything. .__."