Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to work hungover. I was in the back room by myself and thought I could trust a fart. I was so very wrong, and on my own for the next three hours and couldn't go home. FML
Today, at my job, I was so tired and aggravated that I accidentally mumbled, "I need a drink." One of the patients I was taking care of heard me and said, "Me too." I work at an addiction rehab facility. FML
Today, after drinking myself to an oblivion, I awoke with a massive hangover. I didn’t want to go to work, but every excuse I came up with in my head screamed of alcoholics. When I arrived, my boss asked me why I was there. It was my day off. FML
Today, I was asleep and snored so loud that I woke myself up. I was at work and I am now the laughing stock of the office. FML
Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML
Today, while not feeling well at work, I had to finish up some papers. I was so out of it, I couldn't remember how to spell my name. I had to improvise by pronouncing each syllable of my name out loud. My boss now thinks I'm a dumbass. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
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Top comments
TrollFeeder 10
Damn how hungover were you?
yamatelle 19
If he, by any chance, stole a cop car and parked it in the middle of Las Vegas Blvd. with a note that said, "Couldn't find a meter, so here's $4." then yes, he's a moron.
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Comments (98)
lousms 6
So, you're a moron? Just checking.
nixter5 18
No, you are. Just your profile picture is enough to make me say that. ^O^
eminemchick 19
his about me is a lie too o_0
Youdrongo 0
Nice tongue ring.
yamatelle 19
If he, by any chance, stole a cop car and parked it in the middle of Las Vegas Blvd. with a note that said, "Couldn't find a meter, so here's $4." then yes, he's a moron.
eminemchick 19
"wearing sunglasses and disguises, cuz my split personalitys havin an identity crisis";)
MizzErikaHart 8
Surprised to see 1s comment buried. I thought it was good for this fml..
MrleClochard 4
1- so you have no visible neck? Just checking.
gojira666 7
Classic ^
mduffy08 8
-1, how many dimes are you holding under those fat rolls?
HowAreYouToday 34
Fat, douche baggy people: they have VIP tickets to the world of FAIL!!!!
allinicolesmh 0
The only way I could imagine them as a moron is if they make a face like #1's...
bball234 6
using words like castigate doesn't make you a moron in my book.
FarSide 23
Good thing you didn't mutter something about the bj with your mom...
nixter5 18
Awkward...
slick5880 22
Talking to yourself isn't that bad. It's when you start answering yourself that you know you have problems. A shrink might not be a bad idea.
flockz 20
a shrink? but my girlfriend said my penis cant possibly shrink anymore...
nixter5 18
HOLY SHIT, aj AND Flockz replying to MY comment?! :D I've died and gone to FML heaven
slick5880 22
Sorry to hear about your smallness. I believe OP might not be having the same issues as you though.
commietaco 0
I reply to this comment too!! :)
TheRealHouse 7
Nixer, all you need now is Boners and you will officially be winning
mikentrigger 4
Just need a couple thumbs up now to really live the dream.
herpitydurteedur 0
I answer myself sometimes, but it's ony like when I'm thinking about something in my head and I either can't remember or find out the answer so I ask someone out loud and then I'm like "OH! This this and this. Nevermind I figured it out" and then I get a weird look from my mom.
nixter5 18
45- that's exactly what I was thinking. If Boners actually commented...I would be on freaking cloud 9
nixter5 18
Thank you FML, for removing all the comments on this post. I now have zero proof that flockz and AJ replied to my comment. I have lost all respect for you today!!!
lolololer 8
he obviously needed a twix
TrollFeeder 10
Damn how hungover were you?
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Apparently very. How do you not hear yourself talking? Especially if you have a hangover that bad, even the sound of your own voice should be enough to make your head pound.
dyble95 0
I never get hung over. I have blacked out from drinking and I still felt fine when I woke up :/. Is being hung over like having a head ache well being nauseated?
enonymous 9
3- Hung over enough to puke on your profile pic. Even I'm getting nauseous from it.
j_cat187 20
Hey weed makes the pics move
FYLimhoYDI 0
To #41: It's because your 15 and you blackout from one drink.
Marcel4_fml 3
91- alcohol affects people differently lol I was 18 drinkin alot of beer and stuff, yet my friend who was 21 couldn't drink 2 beers without vomitting lol just depends really
no_clue_4_u 4
At least you've given them something to talk about! Good luck living that one down!
546edward 0
lol
OneNightStan 2
Suck it up champ!
IWATCHYOUSLEEP 7
Go on...
starsfan_9 7
Just can't catch a break in this world, eh?
dmeloccaro 5
I love Stars :D
elmogoezRAWR 0
I love circles.
Enigmax2514 7
And the silence of awkwardness begins...
Glitterhinoceros 14
Must have been pretty entertaining if they all shut up to listen to you o.O
1911_Angel 0
Hahaha, sounds like you're still a bit drunk to be talking to yourself out loud at the office!
starsfan_9 7
Thank you for re-iterating the FML for everybody. I didn't understand The underlying cause behind OP's awkward situation when I read that they were hung over