Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I had the place to myself for a while and it was easy to clean, my roommate returned and I woke up to trash piling up, dishes everywhere, and luggage full of sweaty laundry. Oh, and it smells like poo again, because he doesn't regularly shower. I want to scream. FML
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML
Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML
Today, I learned that my housemate used a dry vacuum to unclog the toilet before moving out and then didn't change the vacuum bag. He left several weeks ago. FML
Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
macsterfun 3
I'm still sad that you guys kicked me out...
aFatFuck 0
So either tell him to stop using your shit or find another roommate.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (80)
xXshadowrollerXx 6
Purchase all of your stuff again, but keep them in a place that your roommate won't find, or doesn't know about. If he doesn't buy his own shit, then I'm pretty sure he's just as dirty as your last roommate.
LizzJizz 16
Lol...grow some balls & tell him/her to replace ur stuff.
TrollFeeder 10
Sign him up for the Mexican army. That will teach him.
audiophileMom 11
Careful what you wish for, you might end up cleaning up after the freeloader, too. I'd give it a week to find out ;) seriously tho: labeling stuff with your names helps getting used to yours and mine - especially if he (or she) comes straight from mom's.
poolshark1017 0
Wow y'all sound like a bunch of fags crying over stupid shit! STFU You little bitches!!!
OfficeNinja 5
so fill the tequila bottle with piss, and swap your shampoo with hair remover. problem solved.
audiophileMom 11
I love it... I'm not supposed to, but i really really do!!!
justanotherrando_fml 2
Theres always something to complain about, it's just a matter of how far you want to take it
datoismyname 22
I'm pretty sure that you should kick this guy out to.
elisert 5
:/
IWATCHYOUSLEEP 7
he "borrowed" your liquor? The same way he "borrowed" your towel (which you both used for the same purpose)...