Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I asked him if he was going to fuck my brains out and make me his dumb little cock sleeve. He said, "That's kind of degrading, isn't it?" Instant mood kill. Never date a man who can't talk dirty. FML
Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML
Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
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Top comments
AlwaysWatching 27
Well you needed to tell him or else you will never be able to have a good time and he will never improve
aruden 25
It has to be done, bad dirty talk is the worst.
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Comments (75)
Niedermayer_20 12
He's pathetic. No room for weak links.
SillyBeanie 8
He was probably just embarrassed, thought he was doing a good thing at least you told him now you two can work together to create a better mood for the bedroom time! :) good luck OP!
2ru 14
You can't turn a kitten into a tiger.
Fr0gs 15
Try dating a guy
limabeans101029 21
Lots of guys cry. Even if OP was really nice about it, he was probably really embarrassed. It's not fair to expect men to show no emotion, they're human beings too y'know.
nickster3 6
Same name! But sorry to hear that.
chikinscratch00 8
Truth can hurt. Teach him !
Morning_fml 22
It's better to hurt someone with the truth than to comfort them with a lie.
blubje 17
Oh poor thing. Maybe it was a bit too harshly put? Or he really liked it? Poor guy. But maybe you can teach him. Make it into a fun game. In a public place maybe. Would be awesome but maybe that's just me.
jeriaslovesyou 16
Sometimes it's hard to put those kind of things nicely. Hopefully he'll be okay and you guys can figure something out. :)
tashinaherne 11
You meany!!! Lol