Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I asked him if he was going to fuck my brains out and make me his dumb little cock sleeve. He said, "That's kind of degrading, isn't it?" Instant mood kill. Never date a man who can't talk dirty. FML
Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML
Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
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Top comments
AlwaysWatching 27
Well you needed to tell him or else you will never be able to have a good time and he will never improve
aruden 25
It has to be done, bad dirty talk is the worst.
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Comments (75)
mosquito19 14
why does he needs to be good at dirty talk? not everyone is into it. why can't you focus on what he's good at?
limabeans101029 21
Because "he does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off". That's a pretty good reason for OP to tell him it's not doing much for her.
JodyZAR 5
I know how you feel... My boyfriend likes to shout things right before I finish and it's so off putting that I once got so frustrated that I yelled at him in the middle of sex to shut up. Similar reaction occurred.
Fou_Lou 20
How about talking it over before you get that frustrated.
firebird07 13
Have you actually told him what you want to hear, or just offered criticism for negative criticism for spirited efforts?
dcats 13
Geez, man up. You don't cry for this
at0micmin3r 23
Pretty sure you were rude with him. Why else would he cry? THAT'S not what this FML says. YDI
niggabish666 7
Lol poor guy
pedinhuh 23
...And why did he cried? Insecurity much?
potterydogs 1
He sounds very controlling.
Chrisseruss 13
Well you can't expect a six year old to be good at that stuff. I assume that's how old he is due to the crying x3
Cathrin 26
This is why there are so many FMLs about women being unable to be up front with their partners; they're afraid of this kind of reaction. FYL.